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The Psychology Behind Remaining in Toxic Relationships

Have you ever known someone — a friend, a family member, or an acquaintance — who’s essentially stuck in a romantic relationship that’s unhealthy? And when I say unhealthy , I’m not referencing circumstantial discord and bumps in the road; it’s more of an inherent lack of compatibility where troubling, or even disturbing , issues ensue. Chances are, many of us have heard accounts of toxic relationships that continue to persist. Granted, as an outsider, we never truly know what anot...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Madeleine


My Boyfriend’s Friend Disrespected Me

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and have been living together for a little over 3 years. About a year ago his friend stayed over at our house while we were out on vacation, I’ve never met his friend before and only said yes because he said his friend was trustworthy. His friend ended up bringing over a female coworker and not letting us know but I found an eyeliner so I was upset and asked my boyfriend to talk to him since he didn’t want me to talk to his friend myself. ...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Anger Management, Self-esteem, Personality, Dating, Disrespect, Grudge, Misunderstanding, Disagreement


3 Personality Traits Associated With Infidelity

Up to 50% of people admit cheating on their partner. → Enjoying these psych studies? Support PsyBlog for just $4 per month (includes ad-free experience and more articles). → Explore PsyBlog's ebooks, all written by Dr Jeremy Dean: NEW: Accept Yourself: How to feel a profound sense of warmth and self-compassion The Anxiety Plan: 42 Strategies For Worry, Phobias, OCD and Panic Spark: 17 Steps That Will Boost Your Motivation For Anything Activate: How To Find Joy Again By Changing What You Do
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Personality, Jeremy Dean


What Is He Afraid Of?

The man I’ve been on and off with for almost 6 years has finally admitted to me that “everything is there” in me, but he cannot see a future. He is an honest, good man who has deep fears and avoids intimacy. He doesn’t know what to do when I cry and never talks about his feelings. Our “relationship” has been quite unusual. We never interacted with friends and family, never dated. We were basically friends with benefits who also shared deep and casual discussions with daily interaction. I’ll admi...
Tags: Psychology, General, Marriage, Relationships, Anxiety, Personality, Intimacy, Dating, Fear Of Commitment


5 Healthy Ways to Heal a Broken Heart

Put the pieces back together again. Trying to figure out how to move on after a breakup is rough. Having a broken heart is no cup of tea — and learning how to get over a breakup, especially a painful one with someone you love, is a lesson no one wants to learn. So what do you do next after letting go of love? Have you worked hard to get out of a relationship that wasn’t serving you? Are you feeling overwhelmed by emotion and the empty space that is the result letting go of your love? You are ...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Friends, Love, Self-help, Self-esteem, Netflix, Friendships, Mars, Breakup, Publishers, Self Care, Yourtango, Broken Heart, Healthy Ways to Heal a Broken Heart


One Word That Will Save Your Relationship

Couples who use this word rate their marriages as higher quality. → Enjoying these psych studies? Support PsyBlog for just $4 per month (includes ad-free experience and more articles). → Explore PsyBlog's ebooks, all written by Dr Jeremy Dean: NEW: Accept Yourself: How to feel a profound sense of warmth and self-compassion The Anxiety Plan: 42 Strategies For Worry, Phobias, OCD and Panic Spark: 17 Steps That Will Boost Your Motivation For Anything Activate: How To Find Joy Again By Changing Wha...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Jeremy Dean


Lessons from a Couples Therapist: Marriage Is Destroyed by Emotional Distance, Not Conflict

We all search for love, support, and care in our relationships. Whether you want to enrich a healthy relationship, refresh the one that started feeling like a roommate marriage, or to rescue a dying one, there is one thing to keep in mind: it is emotional distance — not a conflict — that destroys a marriage. If you want to create a stronger, more secure relationship, you need to be attuned and responsive to each other and to reestablish the emotional connection, according to Dr. Sue Johnson,...
Tags: Psychology, Marriage, Relationships, Communication, Self-help, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, Conflict Resolution, Marriage And Divorce, John Gottman, Eft, Gottman, Sue Johnson, Conflict Avoidance, Emotional Distance


When Is It the Better Part of Valor to Keep Your Mouth Shut?

Opinions abound on topics ranging from politics to religion, from relationships to climate change. Conversations no longer just happen around the water cooler at work. With the advent of social media, sharing those beliefs is as easy as tapping fingers on keyboard and pressing “post.” There was a time when the “taboo subjects” of sex, religion, and death were simply not discussed in polite company. These days, the gloves are off and we go at it with gusto, daring to strike back at anyone who...
Tags: Psychology, Technology, Opinion, Relationships, Wikipedia, Disney, Social Media, Self-help, Self-esteem, Resentment, Offense, Internet Trolls


5 Ways to Let Go of a Friendship

When a marriage dissolves, there is legal process that involves steps of grieving the end of the relationship. Signing papers, although painful, acknowledges the end of years together and also signifies freedom to move on to a new life. Broken friendships, however, have no process in place. Oftentimes the ending is muddled, with confusion over what went wrong and whether or not there is any chance of reconciliation. The broken bond can be just as traumatic as a divorce, especially if you have ye...
Tags: Psychology, Grief, General, Relationships, Friends, Friendship, Vulnerability, Self-help, Betrayal, Loss, Rejection, Abandonment, Journal, Grief And Loss, Coping Skills, Henri Nouwen


When You Love an Addict: 6 Things You Should Know

All relationships go through ups and downs. It’s normal. They are made up of two imperfect people trying to make it work together. But when you add addiction into the relationship it takes those “normal” ups and downs and turns them into a wild rollercoaster that leaves you feeling like you are barely hanging on. The good times provide you with just enough hope that you start to believe it really is going to get better. But then a bad time comes and you aren’t sure what to do. If you didn...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Communication, Self-help, Dating, Substance Abuse, Addiction, Recovery, Enabling, Boundaries, Don, Tough Love, Fierce Compassion


The Big 3 Benefits of Waxing Nostalgic

I tend to define nostalgia as a bittersweet reminiscence as we continue to live in the now and move ahead towards the future. Sometimes, there’s mixed emotions when thinking about the past, and some people avoid the subject matter and the whole “nostalgia song and dance” entirely. I also can recognize that there is a bit of a line to toe — a line of reminiscence versus living in the past and feeling perpetually stuck. Those who know me know that I’m quite the “nostalgic” individual. Nostalg...
Tags: Psychology, Amazon, Relationships, Personal, Nostalgia, Memories, Connection, Memory And Perception, Catskill Mountains


How the Nazi’s inhumane parenting guidelines may still be affecting German children

In 1934, a German pulmonologist wrote a book that contained child-rearing advice that promoted extreme forms of neglect in order to encourage toughness in children. The Nazis later incorporated these principles into a mothers' training program that millions of German women undertook. Some German therapists suggest that the effects of these harsh parenting styles are still being felt by German adults and their children today. None In 1934, the German pulmonologist Johanna Haarer wrote a bestselli...
Tags: Psychology, Parenting, Children, Relationships, Germany, Innovation, Dalhousie University, Grossmann, McLean Hospital, Jonathan Haidt, John Bowlby, Evolutionary pscyhology, Johanna Haarer, Haarer, Hartmut Radebold, Martin Teicher


Best Friend Suddenly Hates Me

My best friend and I are extremely close. I have OCD, an eating disorder, depression and anxiety. She has depression and anxiety. About two weeks ago she suddenly stopped talking to me. I apologized profusely for whatever I had done. She then said I hadn’t done anything wrong but that she didn’t like my personality and that I made her uncomfortable. This obviously hurt me and I asked what she was talking about. She proceeded to insult me and has not talked to me since. Every time I try to talk t...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Teenagers, Mental Health, Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, Teen Issues, Friendships, OCD, Adolescence


This Attachment Style Kills A Relationship

Around one in five people have this attachment style. → Enjoying these psych studies? Support PsyBlog for just $4 per month (includes ad-free experience and more articles). → Explore PsyBlog's ebooks, all written by Dr Jeremy Dean: NEW: Accept Yourself: How to feel a profound sense of warmth and self-compassion The Anxiety Plan: 42 Strategies For Worry, Phobias, OCD and Panic Spark: 17 Steps That Will Boost Your Motivation For Anything Activate: How To Find Joy Again By Changing What You Do
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Jeremy Dean


Psychology Around the Net: January 5, 2019

Ah, the first Psychology Around the Net of 2019, and…it’s going to be a great one! This week’s edition covers conversational narcissism and how to stop making everything about you (even if you’re not aware you’re doing it), relationship expert advice on when to discuss your mental health with your partner, the single personality trait that could be the foundation for most mental illnesses, and more. Are You Guilty of Conversational Narcissism? If you’re more of a “shift responder” than a “sup...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Study, Research, Personality, Netflix, Conversation, Child Custody, Terrorism, Narcissism, Stigma, Children And Teens, Psychology Around The Net, Personality Traits, Neuroticism, Josh Malerman


A New Look at Grief Beyond Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages

A few weeks ago, I said goodbye to a long time, dear friend who had become a sister of choice, a traveling companion, a ‘kvetch and moan’ sounding board, as well as a compassionate confidant who didn’t hesitate to call me on my stuff when needed. She died after a nearly two-year encounter with cancer. I hesitate to call it a battle as many do when given the diagnosis that she was. She was more a reluctant dance partner with the disease, attempting to improvise her way through the steps and t...
Tags: Psychology, Grief, Family, Relationships, Friends, Personal, Loss, Bereavement, Grieving, Grief And Loss, Michael, Inspiration & Hope, Health-related, Coping, Buddhist, Elisabeth Kübler Ross


Why Do I Lack Empathy/Compassion?

I notice that I have a real issue genuinely feeling for others. A coworker tells me she has to go somewhere for her cancer and I fake compassion, but I don’t think I actually care. Another coworker has someone dying in the hospital, all day she complains about being tired, and all I wanna do is tell her that nobody cares about her problems and to shut up. I feel in the workplace that you shouldn’t discuss personal issues and complain so much about them because you’re there for work. When i see a...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Compassion, Empathy, Anxiety, Self-esteem, Personality, Loving Kindness


15 Simple Ways to Simplify Your Life

Simplifying one’s life can seem complicated. It can feel overwhelming, especially if you own a lot of stuff and your calendar is crammed with commitments. Where do you start? What the heck do you exactly do? What does simplifying even really look like? At its core, simplifying is making more time for the things that truly matter to us, said Rachel Jonat, who writes about simplicity and minimalism on her website The Minimalist Mom. “That means realigning how you spend your time, money, energy an...
Tags: Psychology, General, Organization, Relationships, Habits, Happiness, Stress, Self-help, New Year's, Mental Health And Wellness, Murphy, Carver, Landis, Astor, Minimalism, Megan Murphy


How to Confront a Narcissistic Mother That Lives with You

I’m divorced and started dating. My mother is against my relationship and it has become to the point I have to choose. How do I do this? I’m a smart, independent woman that can’t break my dependency with her. I am capable of many things, but I am handicapped with her. She blocks me, makes me feel guilty. I need help to do this but don’t want to crush her. Narcissists don’t crush. They tend to be quite insulated from feeling affected by others. The fact that you think you’ll hurt her if you take ...
Tags: Psychology, Family, General, Relationships, Depression, Personality, Parenting & Children, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Guilt Trip


Is Your Attachment Style Leaving You Lonely?

If so, you can turn that around for good. Are you dreading another weekend without plans? Do you wonder why your relationships keep ending and why eligible bachelors keep passing you by? Are you sick and tired of feeling lonely and just want to fill the hole in your heart with someone meaningful? I get that. Loneliness is real and painful. What you may not realize is that the reason many people feel so lonely has much to do with their attachment styles in relationships. According to well-known...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Emotions, Secure, Loneliness, Publishers, Lonely, Insecure, Yourtango, John Gottman, Attachment styles


My Mom and I Constantly Fight

My mom and I are always fighting. She is constantly telling me how to live my life and that any choices I make are wrong. She always constantly puts down my husband and says the nastiest, most vile things about him and I. I try to talk to her about it but it always ends with her and I yelling at each other and her telling me that I am being disrespectful to her. She has told me multiple times that she wishes she had a different daughter when all I ever try to do is compromise with her and try to...
Tags: Psychology, Family, Usa, General, Fighting, Relationships, Anxiety, Therapy, Anger Management, Personality, Parenting & Children, Family Therapy, Adolescence, Conflict Resolution, Family Arguments


How to Deal with Anger When You’re All Too Good at Avoiding It

For many of us avoiding anger feels automatic and natural. Because anger doesn’t feel good. Because we associate anger with cruel words, broken glass and ruined relationships. In other words, as psychotherapist David Teachout, LMHCA, said, we associate anger with destruction, and avoidance is how we attempt to maintain our emotional and mental safety and health. According to Michelle Farris, LMFT, a psychotherapist and anger management specialist, if you grew up in a home where anger turned a...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Stress, Self-help, Anger Management, Anger, Mental Health And Wellness, Emotion Regulation, SAN JOSE Calif, Teachout, Farris, Des Moines WA, Emotional Expression, David Teachout LMHCA, Michelle Farris


These 2 Personality Types Are The Most Compatible

People have a romantic type, study demonstrates. → Enjoying these psych studies? Support PsyBlog for just $4 per month (includes ad-free experience and more articles). → Explore PsyBlog's ebooks, all written by Dr Jeremy Dean: NEW: Accept Yourself: How to feel a profound sense of warmth and self-compassion The Anxiety Plan: 42 Strategies For Worry, Phobias, OCD and Panic Spark: 17 Steps That Will Boost Your Motivation For Anything Activate: How To Find Joy Again By Changing What You Do
Tags: Relationships


How to spot high-conflict people before it's too late

Here's a fast fact about high-conflict people: life is better when you avoid them. Bill Eddy, mediation expert and president of the High Conflict Institute, describes them not only as difficult but also potentially dangerous. So how can we avoid becoming a target in their path of destruction? First, you have to be able to recognize them, says Eddy. They tend to share these four key characteristics: a preoccupation with blaming others, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme beha...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Friendship, Personality, Innovation, Fear, Emotions, Eddy, Bill Eddy, High Conflict Institute


I Was Dumped Over My Depression

He found out by Googling me. I’ve been writing candidly about my life for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been able to pull off fiction, because my brain doesn’t work that way, but I’ve been able to, as Hemingway put it, “sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” Or, since it is the 21st Century, sit down at a computer and just let it all out. Maybe I’m a product of my 21st Century over-sharing generation, or maybe I just want others to feel less alone in their own struggles; some days, I’m n...
Tags: Psychology, Google, Facebook, Relationships, Boston, New York City, Best, Relationship, Personal, Depression, Break Up, Dating, Jay, New England, Stigma, Publishers


New Study Shows Most Americans Are Lonely

If you are feeling lonely, you’re not alone. A recent study involving 340 San Diego County residents of various ages has found that loneliness is shockingly widespread.1 The study suggests that there is a 76% prevalence of moderate to severe loneliness in American society. This is a bombshell statistic. After all, our country has enshrined the pursuit of happiness in its constitution and prides itself on having a high standard of living (twelfth in the world), which apparently doesn’t equate wit...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Friendship, Happiness, Social Media, Personal, Self-help, Depression, Social Life, Spirituality, Un, San Diego County, Loneliness, University Of California San Diego, Mental Health And Wellness


The Nightmare of a False Accusation

You’re at a restaurant and your partner accuses you of being attracted to a man or woman sitting nearby. There has been distance in your relationship and your partner accuses you of having an affair. You’re late for a date and you’re accused of being irresponsible. Hearing such things, you’re left reeling and feel powerless to respond.   Some accusations are more consequential than others. Being falsely accused of a crime is an Orwellian nightmare of unimaginable proportions. The rate of wrongf...
Tags: Psychology, General, Marriage, Relationships, Communication, Self-help, Self-esteem, Trauma, Infidelity, United States, New York New York, Don, Chicago Tribune, Grisham, Catlett, False Accusations


I Think I Am Pushing My Fiancee Away

I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years and we are engaged. We just moved into a house together a year ago and are planning for a family. Unfortunately, following a few stressful life events, I have lost interest in my partner almost wholly. I want to make one thing clear – I still love him and would do anything to make this work, but have this terrible fear it’s irreversible. When he comes on to me I am repulsed. I feel like I’m frozen, as if my body is unable to make any type of physical conne...
Tags: Psychology, General, Marriage, Sex, Relationships, Anxiety, Self-esteem, Personality, Intimacy, Engagement, Commitment


Why giving gifts brings you more happiness than receiving them

Giving gifts results in longer happiness from the act, says new research.We can sustain the pleasure of a new experience every time we give to others.Hedonic adaptation makes it hard to continuously enjoy spending money on ourselves. None Just in time for the holidays, comes new research that says you get more satisfaction from giving gifts than receiving.Usually, a phenomenon known as hedonic adaptation is responsible for us feeling less happiness every time we experience some event or activity...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Happiness, Christmas, Compassion, Innovation, Community, Emotions, Northwestern University, Brien, O Brien, University of Chicago Booth School of Business, Psychological Science, Kellogg School of Management, Decision-making, Ed O Brien


3 Tips for Better Communication During Difficult Conversations

Don’t make things harder than they have to be. Communication is one of the core elements of healthy relationships, which is why learning how to improve your communication skills is critical. Effective communication can stop arguments before they start, help you overcome misunderstandings, and leave nothing in the way of confusion about what you and your partner want or need. One of the most upsetting feelings you could ever experience when you’re in a relationship or marriage is when you feel ...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Communication, Conversation, Publishers, Yourtango, Don, Communication Skills



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