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How to Stop Giving Away Your Personal Power, and Ways to Take it Back

How many times have you wanted to reach out to someone, but you were afraid to seem needy? Or perhaps you were worried about what another person might think of you, or even that they might not respond to you? When we avoid making a connection because we are afraid of someone else’s reaction, or when we censor our thoughts and feelings, we are giving away our personal power.    How do we give away our power? Giving away our power can take many forms. Here are a few examples. We gi...
Tags: Psychology, Self-help


April Is Stress Awareness Month

April is Stress Awareness Month. When I first read that in a local newspaper, my response was “Really? As if we’re not all very well-aware that we are stressed — sometimes to the max. Do we really need a month to focus on it? Then I read what it’s actually about: April as Stress Awareness Month was initiated by the Health Resource Network in 1992 to encourage health organizations to develop and distribute educational materials and hold public events about stress. Okay. That makes sense. But a...
Tags: Psychology, General, Habits, Happiness, Stress, Self-help, Npr, Health-related, Johnny Mercer, Don, Harold Arlen, National Stress Awareness Month, Health Resource Network, Stress Awareness Month People, Ac Cent Tchu


6 Symptoms of Postpartum Depression and 6 Ways to Recover

According to a 2013 study published in JAMA Psychiatry, one out of seven mothers suffers from postpartum depression (PPD). That’s 14 percent of all new moms. Katherine Stone, founder of Postpartum Progress, makes a good point that more women will suffer from postpartum depression and related illnesses this year than the combined number of new cases for men and women of tuberculosis, leukemia, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease and epilepsy. Even though, according to Dr....
Tags: Psychology, Parenting, Pregnancy, Self-help, Depression, Apathy, Women's Issues, Mental Health And Wellness, Postpartum, Depressive Episode


How to Find the Strength to Leave a Relationship

It takes tremendous courage to leave a relationship that no longer fits. It takes tremendous self-love to know you deserve better. It takes tremendous faith to believe something better, someone better lies just around the corner in your future. It takes tremendous wisdom to feel deep in your bones that you were born to live a life of joy and that everything you dream about can be yours. I am here to offer living proof that you do deserve better. That you must leave. That if you can imagine be...
Tags: Psychology, Books, Relationships, Self-help, Codependence, Breakups, Self Care, Heartache, Self-worth, Self Love, Paulo Coelho, Esther Hicks, Don Miguel Luis


6 Inspiring Books That Will Lift Your Mood

Losing yourself in the pages of a riveting novel or memoir is a legitimate form of therapy. Even better is coming away from the characters and the story with a renewed purpose and sense of hope. John Green, one of my favorite authors, said “Great books help you understand, and they help you feel understood.” I think that’s true especially for people who struggle with depression and anxiety or some other chronic illness that is stigmatized in our culture. Between the covers of a book, we find a n...
Tags: Psychology, Motivation, Books, Inspiration, Reading, Self-help, Santiago, Amsterdam, Shakespeare, Eddie, John Green, Mental Health And Wellness, Motivation And Inspiration, Inspiration & Hope, Julius Caesar, Jonathan


A Spring Cleaning Primer: 15 Ways to Get Organized in 5 Minutes or Less

Getting organized can sound exhausting, especially if your house is filled with heaps and piles of stuff. Maybe it’s on the counters. Maybe it’s on your dining room table (and every other table in your home). Maybe it’s your entire closet. Wherever the clutter resides, you’re finding it incredibly frustrating. Because for one, clutter is all you can find—your keys, your home insurance policy, that bill that’s due any day now, not so much. And rest assured you’re not alone. Ashley Hat...
Tags: Psychology, General, Washington, Habits, Happiness, Stress, Self-help, Perfectionism, Mental Health And Wellness, Motivation And Inspiration, Company, Rachel, Gill, Hatcher, Rosenthal, Blakey


What Are Boundaries and Why You Need Them

One of the most misunderstood and important tools to develop healthy relationships is your ability to set boundaries. Brene Brown famously said: “The most generous people are the most boundaried.” She’s right because setting boundaries helps you to take more responsibility for your life and therefore feel more in control which increases your confidence, energy and enthusiasm for life. Boundaries help you to become more open and trusting with yourself and others, which in turn improves the q...
Tags: Psychology, Family, Relationships, Friends, Communication, Self-help, Boundaries, Brene Brown


The 10 Warning Signs of Having a Victim Mentality

When you feel like a victim, you’ll end up stuck. It can be depressing to be around someone who is always negative and constantly complains about everything. Someone with a victim mentality and negativity bias usually finds things wrong with their life or feel that they do not deserve the good things in life. Thus, their life goes nowhere. In order to detect if someone is playing the victim, they usually look at the glass half empty as a reflection for what is really going on deep down inside...
Tags: Psychology, Self-help, Negativity, Self-confidence, Responsibility, Publishers, Victim, Yourtango, Negativity Bias, Self Love, Making Excuses, Self-destructive, Victim Mentality, Self-sabotaging, Co Dependency, Coping Behavior


Four Steps to Manage Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

When I was a young girl, I struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder. I believed that if I landed on a crack in the sidewalk, something terrible would happen to me, so I did my best to skip over them. I feared that if I had bad thoughts of any kind, I would go to hell. To purify myself, I would go to confession and Mass over and over again, and spend hours praying the rosary. I felt if I didn’t compliment someone, like the waitress where we were eating dinner, I would bring on the end of the ...
Tags: Psychology, Personal, Self-help, Intrusive Thoughts, OCD, Obsessions, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Mental Health And Wellness, Anxiety And Panic, Compulsions


6 Mistakes to Avoid in Your Recovery from Depression and Anxiety

Recovering from depression and anxiety call for the same kind of shrewdness and amount of perspiration as does running a 4,000-person company. I say that having never done the latter. But hear out my logic: great leaders must master impeccable governing skills, develop the discipline of a triathlete, and build enough stamina to manage multiple personalities. And so does anyone wanting to get outside of her head and live a little. So I think it’s fitting to translate the insight of a book about ...
Tags: Psychology, General, Habits, Self-help, Depression, Bipolar, Personality, Mental Health And Wellness, Brain And Behavior, Motivation And Inspiration, Industrial And Workplace, Depressive Episode, Depression Recovery


7 Considerations When Leaving Your Marriage, Part Two

This is Part Two in a series, to read Part One click here. In the last article I highlighted three important considerations to think about before leaving your marriage: Be sure, be kind, and the guilt you might experience about leaving. These three considerations are very much about you and your internal dialogue and in this post, we’ll see how the next stages are very much influenced by those around us. You’re Going to Be Seen as the Bad Person: Your partner (and Children) will see yo...
Tags: Psychology, Parenting, Relationships, Friendship, Communication, Divorce, Self-help, Perspective, Doubt, Marriage And Divorce, Projection, Don


Looking for the Light When There’s Darkness

“ There is mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh Over the past few years, many of us in the helping professions have noticed an emotional shift that feels like a sense of gloom hanging over much of our universe. Many factors have no doubt contributed to these feelings, such as personal, political, environmental, and global issues. Some people have found themselves harboring a deep sense of darkness or nega...
Tags: Psychology, California, Happiness, Mindfulness, Self-help, Oakland, Motivation And Inspiration, Inspiration & Hope, Thich Nhat Hanh, Carl Jung, Barbara, Lotus Berkeley


Why It’s Okay to Cry in Public

I waited three months after I was discharged from the hospital for suicidal depression to make contact with the professional world again. I wanted to be sure I didn’t “crack,” like I had done in a group therapy session. A publishing conference seemed like an ideal, safe place to meet. A crowded room of book editors would certainly prevent any emotional outbursts on my part. So I reached out to colleague who had been feeding me assignments pre-nervous breakdown and invited her for a cup of coffee...
Tags: Psychology, Crying, General, Self-help, Depression, New York Times, Oprah, Mental Health And Wellness, Brain And Behavior, Bonding, Embarrassment, Frey, St Paul Minnesota, University of Maryland Baltimore County, Robb Willer, Regions Hospital


The Importance of Practice and Preparation

I used to shy away from certain activities. Why? Because I believed that I had to do them well or not do them at all. If I didn’t have any natural talent, then clearly they weren’t for me. On to the next pursuit.   Sometimes this approach makes sense. Take, for example, trying to play the violin. If, after many lessons, your “music” is jarring to your own ears and you don’t enjoy the experience, perhaps consider giving up what initially seemed like a good idea. You can lead an amazing life wi...
Tags: Psychology, Learning, Preparation, Memory, Habits, Personal, Self-help, Perfectionism, Nix, Katie Couric, Katie, Habit Change


9 Tips and Tricks for Creating a Calming Bedtime Routine When You Have Kids

It’s safe to say that everyone knows about the importance of having a bedtime routine for helping us get a good night’s sleep. But when you have kids, things can get tricky, because there are plenty of competing factors. Sometimes, it takes forever, plus an hour, to get your child to bed, and by that point, you’re exhausted — and restless. Maybe you find yourself zoning out on the couch or staring at the ceiling, thinking about the 100,000 things you need to do. And maybe you start doing the...
Tags: Psychology, General, Parenting, Sleep, Children, Habits, Self-help, Hyperactivity, Mental Health And Wellness, Robinson, Clark, Sleep Habits, Sara Robinson, Sleep Hygiene, Bedtime, Keely Clark


7 Simple Ways to Ease Anxiety

Anxiety serves a life-saving role when we are in real danger. Adrenaline pumps through our system, and suddenly we can run like Usain Bolt and lift a 200-pound man without much effort. However, most of the time, anxiety is like a fire alarm with a dead battery that beeps annoyingly every five minutes when there is absolutely nothing to worry about. We experience the heart palpitations, restlessness, panic, and nausea as if a saber-toothed tiger were 20 yards away. Thankfully there are a few simp...
Tags: Psychology, California, Research, Self-help, Anxiety, New York Times, Relaxation, Philadelphia, Mental Health And Wellness, Anxiety And Panic, Anxious Thoughts, Coping Skills, Loma Linda University, Benedict Carey, University of Pennsylvania Medical Center, University of California at David Medical Center


7 Savvy Strategies for the Spring Season

Spring time is traditionally the time we feel freer. More hours of sunshine, warmer weather and flowers blossoming inspire us to do better with whatever we want to achieve.  If you’re like most folks, you’ll begin to put the pressure on yourself to lose those extra pounds and get on an exercise regime. After all, bathing suit time is just around the corner. You’ll also urge yourself to save money, get better organized and be more focused. And, of course, spend more time with family and friends....
Tags: Psychology, Habits, Self-help, Motivation And Inspiration


Psychology Around the Net: April 6, 2019

This week’s Psychology Around the Net dives into how to stop worrying about what other people think of you, ways to defeat procrastination, why pets can help boost physical and mental health (especially in older adults), and more. Enjoy! Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You: 7 Tips for Feeling Better: The fear of rejection is at the root of caring what someone thinks of you. Learn how to understand what “rejection” really means, use rejection (when it actually happens) as a brilliant ...
Tags: Psychology, Family, Parenting, Suicide, Pets, Mothers, Research, Self-help, Guilt, Fear Of Rejection, Trauma, Self Harm, Procrastination, Fear, Women's Issues, The Joker


6 Ways to Use Mindfulness to Ease Difficult Emotions

Mindfulness has become quite the buzzword these days, with impressive studies popping up in the news with regularity. For example, research from the University of Oxford finds that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is just as effective as antidepressants for preventing a relapse of depression. In MBCT, a person learns to pay closer attention to the present moment and to let go of the negative thoughts and ruminations that can trigger depression. They also explore a greater awareness of ...
Tags: Psychology, Books, Mindfulness, Self-help, Depression, University of Oxford, Mental Health And Wellness, Brain And Behavior, Motivation And Inspiration, University of Massachusetts, Jon Kabat Zinn, Kabat Zinn, Anne Arundel Community Hospital


Get Unstuck from Negative, Fearful Thoughts with 6 Simple Steps

It’s easy to get stuck in the grip of negative thoughts. Whether you find yourself thinking about an irritating coworker, a thoughtless partner, or the pizza binge you went on last night, negative thoughts are a normal part of life. Yet if you get stuck in negative thought loops — patterns that are often highly unconscious — their destructive nature can take control of your life. Once you become accustomed to thinking negatively, your brain becomes hard-wired to take a negative path. Before you...
Tags: Psychology, Stress, Self-help, Anxiety, Fear, Negative Thinking, Feedback Loop, Stuck Thoughts


Why Jealousy Can Be Good

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins. “Never underestimate the power of jealousy and the power of envy to destroy,” Oliver Stone said. I’m going to do just that. I’m going to postulate that envy also has the power to create and to motivate, that it is, in fact, GOOD. This topic is a natural for me since I spend so much time counting other people’s blessings. I salivate over my friend’s number-one New York Time’s bestseller; my colleague’s trip to Tibet; my brother-in-law’s cake job; my friend’s ...
Tags: Psychology, Tibet, Relationships, Habits, Happiness, Self-help, Self-esteem, Oliver Stone, William, University of Cambridge, Venus, Serena, Mental Health And Wellness, Brain And Behavior, Motivation And Inspiration, University of Texas


Courage as a Teacher: 3 Steps to Take

One of the most simple yet effective ways of living a responsible life is to approach each day from the perspective of an unknown, future death point. We can do this by asking ourselves daily, “How shall I live this day so that I am at peace with myself when I am looking back from the point of my death?” The inescapable reality of life is that none of us escapes it alive. But I do not see this as a reason to fret or bemoan past mistakes or worry about a future that is not guaranteed to any of...
Tags: Psychology, Self-help, Resilience, Courage, Bravery, Motivation And Inspiration, Risk-taking, Ethics & Morality


What to Tell Yourself When You’re in Emotional Pain

You’re upset about losing a loved one. You’ve had a bad day. You lost out on a job opportunity. You had a falling out with a friend. You feel disconnected from your spouse. You got into an argument with your child. You’re going through something traumatic. You’re going through some other challenging situation, and you’re in pain. You’re sad. You’re heartbroken. You’re weary or overwhelmed. You’re deeply disappointed. When many of us are in emotional pain, we don’t exactly help the situatio...
Tags: Psychology, General, Stress, Self-help, Grief And Loss, Mental Health And Wellness, Self-soothing, Emotional Pain, Coping Skills, Torres, Asheville, Kristin Neff, Renee, SAN LEANDRO Calif, Laura Torres LPC, Renee Cage Watson


Why We Shouldn’t Be Afraid of Change

Most human beings loathe change. In a 2010 study conducted at the University of Arkansas, researchers led five experiments that demonstrated that people overwhelmingly found older objects or behaviors to be preferable to new ones, that longevity is a key factor, often unconsciously, when we evaluate the value of something. “The length of time something has been established seems to serve as a cue to its goodness. The longer a policy, medical practice, painting, tree or consumer good was said to ...
Tags: Psychology, Habits, Happiness, Self-help, Gizmodo, Mental Health And Wellness, Brain And Behavior, Motivation And Inspiration, University of Arkansas, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Andrew Tarantola, Spencer Johnson, Laurel Regional Hospital, Haw


The Different Things You’re Doing That Steal Time—And How to Stop

Many of us lament that we don’t have time for the things we’d like to do—catch a movie on a weeknight, take a fun dance class on a Saturday, start a creative project, go for a run, read, take a weekend getaway. But the reality is that many of us are doing things we don’t actually need to be doing. When we eliminate those things, space suddenly opens up, and we naturally create more time. According to time management expert and bestselling author Laura Vanderkam, knowing what to eliminate...
Tags: Psychology, Habits, Happiness, Stress, Self-help, Creativity, Mental Health And Wellness, Industrial And Workplace, Success & Achievement, Dalton, Faye, Marshall Goldsmith, Chris Bailey, Loflin, Laura Vanderkam, Vanderkam


Taking Back Your Power: Breaking Free from the Writing on the Wall

Everyone has writing on their wall — hidden belief systems and pre-recorded programs that dictate how we behave, react and experience ourselves and the world. This information has been imprinted onto our subconscious minds like music onto the track of a tape. We may not be aware of it, but we listen to the voice that spouts it everyday, and we do what it says. The writing on our wall is our most prominent advisor, and we consult it all day long. It’s the writing on our wall that makes us r...
Tags: Psychology, Motivation, Habits, Happiness, Mindfulness, Self-help, Ego, Empowerment, Motivation And Inspiration


7 Women Who Inspire Me

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” In other words, hang with the winners. A few months ago, my therapist gave me the assignment to think about the wise women in my life, warriors who had persevered through difficulties in their lives to emerge as stronger figures, examples of resilience who could serve as my teachers. I went even further and interviewed each one, asking them about the force or philosophy behind their strength. The ...
Tags: Psychology, Nike, Self-help, Bob Dylan, New Jersey, Bob, Women's Issues, Kesha, Meetup, Central America, Tolkien, Johns Hopkins, Mental Health And Wellness, Inspiration & Hope, Mother Teresa, Rose


Meaningful Ways to Improve Your Mental Health

Our mental health isn’t static. It is something we can change and improve and build on. Which is why coach and speaker Miles Adcox prefers the term “mental or emotional fitness.” He says: “Fitness conjures the idea that we have some control and work we can do to improve the status of our mental and emotional well-being.” The fact that our mental health is dynamic provides us with a great opportunity to learn and grow and create and course-correct. Adcox defines mental health as “the p...
Tags: Psychology, General, Habits, Happiness, Stress, Mindfulness, Self-help, Nashville, Mental Health And Wellness, Dan Siegel, Adcox, Meaningful Ways to Improve Your Mental Health, Miles Adcox, Austin Houghtaling, Houghtaling, Onsite Workshops


How to Let Conflict & Change Be Your Teachers

What can conflict and change teach you? Life is full of potential friction. We expect relationships to last forever, situations to have certain outcomes, jobs to last longer than they do. However, life tends to serve us what we need to grow and evolve rather than what will keep us safe. How we tend to the pain of those disappointments — both big and small — define whether we get stuck in an eddy of emotional turmoil, or ultimately evolve to our next level of growth. When faced with disappointm...
Tags: Psychology, Disappointment, Stress, Change, Vulnerability, Awareness, Mindfulness, Self-help, Personality, Conflict, Feelings, Emotions, Pain, Publishers, Spirituality & Health, Evolve


25 Inspiring Quotes on Embracing Your True Self

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” It is also the greatest struggle, in my opinion, to leave at the door the sentiments and expectations of others and lead with your truth. Lately I’ve looked for inspiration in the words of others to help me resist the urge to become an imitation of someone else and to embrace the person I am. Here are some of my favorite quotes. 1. Embrace the glorious...
Tags: Psychology, Steve Jobs, Self-help, Self-esteem, Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Oscar Wilde, Perfectionism, Mental Health And Wellness, Motivation And Inspiration, Inspiration & Hope, Eleanor Roosevelt, Judy Garland, Don, Elizabeth Gilbert, Ralph Waldo Emerson



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