Posts filtered by tags: Vulnerability[x]


How Writers Write About Heartbreaking Things and Care for Themselves in the Process

For more than 20 years, Mary Cregan wanted to write her recently published memoir The Scar: A Personal History of Depression and Recovery, but she felt that she couldn’t. It’s primarily because she wasn’t ready to face the exposure required to be so honest about such a devastating, difficult part of her life. Because that’s the thing about writing: We let readers into our innermost thoughts and feelings, into our souls, and that can be scary. We tackle topics we’d never bring up with a ...
Tags: Psychology, Books, General, Writing, Habits, Disorders, Vulnerability, Creativity, Stigma, Hemingway, Mental Health And Wellness, Inspiration & Hope, Sweeney, Goldberg, Heartbreak, Blum

How to Let Conflict & Change Be Your Teachers

What can conflict and change teach you? Life is full of potential friction. We expect relationships to last forever, situations to have certain outcomes, jobs to last longer than they do. However, life tends to serve us what we need to grow and evolve rather than what will keep us safe. How we tend to the pain of those disappointments — both big and small — define whether we get stuck in an eddy of emotional turmoil, or ultimately evolve to our next level of growth. When faced with disappointm...
Tags: Psychology, Disappointment, Stress, Change, Vulnerability, Awareness, Mindfulness, Self-help, Personality, Conflict, Feelings, Emotions, Pain, Publishers, Spirituality & Health, Evolve

4 Strategies to Foster Self-Compassion

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~ Quote often attributed to Buddha Nurturing self-compassion is by far the most difficult part of my recovery from depression because the self-hater is loudest when my mood dips, charging me to try harder, be tougher, and comparing ...
Tags: Psychology, Books, General, Happiness, Vulnerability, Personal, Austin, Self-help, Resilience, Shame, Perfectionism, Personal Growth, Self-compassion, Mental Health And Wellness, Motivation And Inspiration, Inspiration & Hope

8 Ways to Create the Love You Want

Motivational speaker Tony Robbins once said that “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” While the initial phase of a relationship seems effortless, the sublime chemical release of early love will only get us so far. Eventually, if we want the partnership to endure, we have to roll up our sleeves and start to sweat. My husband and I recently attended a marriage retreat where we heard from couples who have survived affairs, medical problems, family f...
Tags: Psychology, Romance, Relationships, Love, Communication, Tony Robbins, Vulnerability, Self-help, Intimacy, Caribbean, Personal Growth, Couples Therapy, Gary Chapman, Sam Keen, Love Language

The 10 Masks We Wear

Rarely does a person emerge from childhood completely unscathed. Most of us learn to protect ourselves with defense mechanisms and personality traits that ensure our safety in the world. By adopting certain behavioral patterns, we unconsciously or consciously seek security and stability. We wear different kinds of masks to keep us from getting too hurt. However, in doing so, we close ourselves off from authentic relationships and stay stuck in the scabs of our childhood wounds. By identifying ou...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Validation, Vulnerability, Self-help, Personality, Intimacy, Perfectionism, Approval, Imposter Syndrome, Self Image

5 Ways to Let Go of a Friendship

When a marriage dissolves, there is legal process that involves steps of grieving the end of the relationship. Signing papers, although painful, acknowledges the end of years together and also signifies freedom to move on to a new life. Broken friendships, however, have no process in place. Oftentimes the ending is muddled, with confusion over what went wrong and whether or not there is any chance of reconciliation. The broken bond can be just as traumatic as a divorce, especially if you have ye...
Tags: Psychology, Grief, General, Relationships, Friends, Friendship, Vulnerability, Self-help, Betrayal, Loss, Rejection, Abandonment, Journal, Grief And Loss, Coping Skills, Henri Nouwen

When a Therapist and Journalist Comes Clean About Her Self-Doubt

As a career therapist since 1979 who decided to traverse a professional writing path beginning a bit less than a decade later, I have blended two of my passions; guiding people on their own journeys and communicating the thoughts that insist on being documented for posterity. Lofty pursuits? Perhaps. Fraught with challenges and responsibility for integrity? Absolutely. Thus, this article. A week ago, Psych Central published a piece called, “ How the President’s Communication Style Is Like...
Tags: Psychology, Google, Facebook, Politics, Aging, Vulnerability, Personal, Trauma, Self-doubt, Stigma, Authenticity, Brown, Oval Office, DSM, Brené, Minding the Media

Feeling Vulnerable? It May Not Be a Bad Thing

Have you ever avoided asking for help because you felt that it might make you look incompetent? Or have you struggled to tell your colleagues that you made a decision that didn’t work out because of a concern that you’d lose their trust or respect. When we talk about being vulnerable, it’s often in the context of personal relationships. Being vulnerable is also integral in other areas of life though, including the workplace. Sometimes, yes, it is easier, and it may be more socially or profes...
Tags: Psychology, Google, General, Relationships, Friends, Stanford, Communication, Research, Empathy, Vulnerability, Self-esteem, University Of Houston, Shame, Courage, Stephen, Personal Growth

Initial conversations go better than people think

A new study finds that people consistently underestimate how much a new conversation partner liked them.The likability gap exists for almost everybody, but is more pronounced for the shy. It can also last for months despite regular meetings with the same person.The findings suggest we all try to play it safe with our appraisals of how much we're liked, and point the way to better conversational habits for everybody.Have you ever had a conversation with somebody and left not knowing if they liked...
Tags: Psychology, Relationships, Communication, Vulnerability, Innovation, Presentation, Clark, Margret Clark, Yale department of psychology

What It Means to Be Emotionally Safe in a Relationship

Have you ever loved someone but didn’t feel internally relaxed with him or her? Have you experienced a longing to connect, but something kept disrupting the closeness you wanted? It’s frustrating to love someone but not experience the trust and safety that would allow the relationship to deepen. The intimacy we want may seem so close, yet sadly elusive. Feeling emotionally safe is an essential foundation for any intimate relationship. Although not easy to build, it creates the necessary climate ...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Friends, Happiness, Communication, Vulnerability, Self-help, Insecurity, Intimacy, Dating, Trust Issues, John Gottman, Emotional Safety, Marshall Rosenberg, Jett Psaris

Teaching Our Kids Not to Mask Their Pain

I answered the phone and on the other end was a dear friend sobbing. She was going through a debilitating depression and was making the decision whether to get on medication or not. She has teenagers like myself and I asked her if the kids knew. I could barely hear her whisper on the other end of the line: “No, and I don’t want them to know.” Oh, I knew the feeling all too well. I had just experienced the same thing and had to sit my kids down and explain I had depression and was taking medicat...
Tags: Transparency, Life, Religion, Vulnerability, Mental Health, Depression, Healing, Jesus, Courage, Pain, Mark, Gethsemane, Ann Voskamp, Devotional, Devotionals, Christian walk

Why Do I Consistently Commit Breaches Social Mores?

I then spend hours and sometimes days dissecting my words coming to the conclusion that maybe Im better off staying at home and reading? Example 1: Man comes to sell daughter vacuum yesterday and we take a break to go outside and have a cigarette. daughter stays in house with baby. i tell him about my other children and their trials, express how rankled i am that my daughter cant make this decision alone. tell him thats why i never stayed married for long. Private, socially inappropriate confide...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Judgment, Vulnerability, Anxiety, Therapy, Manipulation, Shame, Exploitation, Self Worth

Why Do I Commit Breach Social Mores Consistently?

I then spend hours and sometimes days dissecting my words coming to the conclusion that maybe Im better off staying at home and reading? Example 1: Man comes to sell daughter vacuum yesterday and we take a break to go outside and have a cigarette. daughter stays in house with baby. i tell him about my other children and their trials, express how rankled i am that my daughter cant make this decision alone. tell him thats why i never stayed married for long. Private, socially inappropriate confide...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Judgment, Vulnerability, Anxiety, Therapy, Manipulation, Shame, Exploitation, Self Worth

6 Tips to Help You Better Understand Love

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me. Love is tough to narrow down. Poets write about it, philosophers discuss it, musicians sing about it, and most humans crave it — but actually defining love is complex. Once you have it, you will know it, but holding onto it isn’t always easy. Fortunately, science can help us define love, find it, and even keep it going over the long run. What Your Birth Order Says About Your Love Life Here are 6 scientifically proven facts about love. 1. The Brain Responds D...
Tags: Psychology, Family, Romance, Relationships, Love, Trust, Passion, Vulnerability, Meditation, Mindfulness, Brain, Chemistry, Feelings, Dalai Lama, Pleasure, Publishers

Why Am I Uncomfortable Getting Close to People?

Many of us are hesitant to get emotionally close to others. Getting close means sharing feelings, thoughts, wishes and dreads. Getting close means sharing your true self, flaws and all, with someone else who totally accepts us. Many people, who are hesitant to get close to others, wish they were not hesitant. They yearn for intimacy. They yearn to be known. And, they feel lonely. But, closeness can be uncomfortable  —  not only mentally but physically as well. George, for example, dreamed of f...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Friends, Vulnerability, Personal, Self-help, Trauma, Intimacy, Rejection, Loneliness, Connection, Closeness, George, Loving Kindness

3 Suggestions for Revising Unsupportive Stories

The stories we hold about ourselves can expand or narrow our lives. One example of limiting narratives revolves around what we believe we’re good at and what we believe we’re bad at. Helen McLaughlin’s clients often create these kinds of stories, letting them dictate their decisions and days. For instance, one client might hold the story that she can’t ask her boss for a raise because she’s bad at anything resembling a confrontation. And she’s really bad at advocating for herself. The problem? T...
Tags: Psychology, Writing, Relationships, Goals, Habits, Happiness, Success, Past, Stress, Vulnerability, Mental Health, Self-help, Self-esteem, Low Self Esteem, Creativity, Storytelling

I Was Very Depressed, Closed a Part of Myself Off and Am Thinking of Trying to Open that Part Back Up

I spent a good portion of my life depressed, and was somewhat suicidal. I would have killed myself but I didn’t want to cause the people who cared about me pain. I finally decided to close a portion of myself because I felt I could not beat it and if I didn’t close off my emotions, I would have killed myself. Fast forward about 6-7 years and I’m wondering if it’s time to try to reopen myself. I’m content with life now, not happy, but not sad and not depressed. I haven’t thought about killing mys...
Tags: Psychology, General, Suicide, Vulnerability, Depression, Therapy, Self-esteem, Personality, Resilience, Personal Growth, Suicide Attempt, Open Doors, Group Therapy

I Never Had a Boyfriend, Looking to Find Out How I Can Overcome the Fear of Rejection

Hello. From the outside I am a perfectly normal girl, with a Masters Degree, with good friends around me, but I am 26 now and I never had a boyfriend. I have plenty of male as friends, but I am so shy I always keep the distance. To be honest I am ashamed to say that I’m a virgin. I did dated guys, we kissed, but when it comes to more I feel shy and scared to say I’m a virgin at my age. Maybe it’s a fear since childhood as my parents divorced since I was 2 years old, I didn’t meet my dad and my m...
Tags: Psychology, UK, General, Sex, Vulnerability, Anxiety, Self-esteem, Personality, Fear Of Rejection, Intimacy, Dating, Rejection, Phobia, Brene Brown

Connecting to Your Core Self

We often come across the term “core self” in magazines or online. Maybe we hear it in conversation. Maybe we hear statements like it’s important to connect to your core self. It’s important to develop a deep understanding of it. Doing so is vital for building a fulfilling, meaningful life. But what is a “core self”? What does it really mean? According to psychotherapist Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S, “core self is your true self, or most authentic self.” It is our “inner wisdom, inner nurturer, wi...
Tags: Psychology, General, Writing, Relationships, Goals, Happiness, Values, Vulnerability, Self-help, Self-esteem, Personality, Sense Of Self, Anger, Sadness, Journaling, Dreams

When an Apology Is Not an Apology

Why is apologizing so difficult? Saying “I was wrong, I made a mistake, I’m sorry” is more painful than root canal therapy for some people. As a psychotherapist, I’ve found that our ability to apologize is directly related to the shame we carry. Burdened with a deeply ingrained sense of being flawed or defective, we mobilize to avoid being flooded by a debilitating shame. When we recognize that we’ve done or said something offensive tor hurtful, we may notice an uncomfortable feeling inside. We ...
Tags: Psychology, General, Celebrities, Relationships, Communication, Empathy, Vulnerability, Self-help, Healing, Personality, Sincerity, Manipulation, Sociopath, Apology, Forgiveness, Responsibility

Vulnerability Equates to Success

As a society, we tend to hide from being vulnerable. We are taught from an early age to be strong, be confident, to be anything but vulnerable. This thinking, however, is flawed. Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage. It is not weakness. When we are vulnerable, we are showing courage. We are thinking with our brains while also using our intuition. We are creating change and learning to adapt. We are, in the best sense, living. So, if we are afraid of being vulnerable, are we ...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Happiness, Vulnerability, Addiction, Recovery, Shame, Brain And Behavior, Motivation And Inspiration, Inspiration & Hope, Drug Addiction, Boston College, Carl Jung

Why We Can’t Accept Ourselves — and Small Steps to Start

There are all sorts of obstacles that stop us from accepting ourselves. For starters, it might be a combination of scarce self-knowledge and wounds from our past, said Alexis Marson, LMFT, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with individuals, couples, families and children. We often lack knowledge and awareness about our emotions. And the most damaging past wounds tend to stem from our caregivers. Marson shared this example: You feel angry and interpret your parents as disconnecting fro...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Happiness, Ted, Stress, Vulnerability, Meditation, Mental Health, Self-help, Self-esteem, Sense Of Self, Emotions, Shame, Authenticity, Limiting Beliefs

Taking Medications — Big Burden

I’m taking medications for several years. I had psychosis. Now I feel good. People usually find me very funny and think I’m good company. Problem is when I want to ask some girl out I just freeze. I don’t know what she would say about my problem when she finds out. Eventually I have to tell that and it is very difficult. I know that you have to go step by step. I always think in long term. Maybe that particular girl will not even go to second date with me. The fact that I’m taking medications is...
Tags: Psychology, General, Vulnerability, Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, Self-esteem, Personality, Fear, Slovenia, Psychosis, Social Anxiety, Rejection, Phobia, Embarrassment

Vulnerability Practice

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Rademacher This quote speaks more clearly to me than any other of the mistake we sometimes make when we glorify achievement, striving and courage. And vulnerability. In our “just do it” culture, we often push aside our needs, our low energy levels, our unhealed, raw vulnerability and force ourselves onward “no matter what.” Why could “just do it” be a mist...
Tags: Psychology, General, Vulnerability, Mindfulness, Self-help, Resilience, Mental Health And Wellness, Brain And Behavior

On Being Ourselves — What This Really Means & What It Might Look Like

So often we hear “just be yourself.” Or we read articles about being “authentic.” But what does this really mean? And what does it actually look like? “Being yourself requires knowing and being comfortable with the different parts of yourself, owning those parts and remaining true to it, even in the face of doubt,” said Ashley Thorn, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Wasatch Family Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah. This is something we explore regularly because we naturally evolve and g...
Tags: Psychology, General, Identity, California, Happiness, Vulnerability, Julia Roberts, Personality, Starbucks, Authenticity, Thorn, Self-reflection, Wayne Dyer, Assertiveness, Anna Osborn, Ashley Thorn

Best of Our Blogs: June 7, 2016

Oh the amount of energy I spent and continue to spend consumed with it. All that time wasted when I could be focused on my professional goals, my family on myself. That’s what happens when you’re stuck in victimhood. You think everything bad is the result of someone else’s doing. Recently, I discovered the path towards greater growth begins when I redirect my attention. Instead of grieving over what he or she did or said, I’ve been working with my own reaction to it. Is there a way that I can ha...
Tags: Psychology, Vulnerability, Truth, Mind, OCD, Differences, Suffering, Best Of Our Blogs, Neglect

How ‘Mad Men’ Taught Us about Trauma, Shame & Healing

Don Draper, a character on the TV series “Mad Men,” was a survivor of childhood trauma. But when we first met Don, we met a man who had it all. He was at the pinnacle of his career, happily married to his gorgeous wife, Betty, and father of two adorable children. His haughty, arrogant and aloof facade was easily mistaken for genuine confidence. We soon found out, however, that Don was a man with flaws. An alcoholic, a womanizer and an adulterer, he lied about things, not the least of which was h...
Tags: Psychology, General, Adultery, New York City, Disorders, Vulnerability, Personality, Insecurity, Trauma, Infidelity, Substance Abuse, Addiction, Rejection, Child Abuse, Recovery, Trust Issues

The Power of Healthy Shame: How Shame Can Be Our Friend

Shame is one of the most destructive emotions. Shame is that painful, sinking feeling that tells us that we’re flawed or defective. The French philosopher Jean Paul Sartre described shame as that “immediate shudder which runs through me from head to foot.” Psychologist Gershen Kaufman explains how shame is the sudden rupture of the interpersonal bridge, which happens when someone relates to us in a degrading, critical way — or when we anticipate being criticized or attacked. Such shame can have ...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Empathy, Vulnerability, Self-help, Self-esteem, Guilt, Personality, Psychopathology, Shame, Personality Disorder, Blame, Dissociation, Boundaries, Dignity

Why Men Stay Away from Therapy — and Why It’s Actually a Perfect Match

A man went to see psychologist Ryan Howes solely because his wife wanted him to. She wanted him to work on his communication and become more comfortable with intimacy. He wanted to be anywhere but there. Many men feel this way about therapy.* And many men avoid it — even when they’re struggling and need it most. They often see attending therapy as a “sign of weakness or inadequacy,” said Jean Fitzpatrick, LP, a psychotherapist who has extensive experience working with both men and women and whos...
Tags: Psychology, General, Relationships, Happiness, Communication, Disorders, Stress, Relationship, Vulnerability, Therapy, Intimacy, Problem Solving, Feelings, Psychotherapy, Emotion, Feeling

Men and Intimacy: How Do Our Families Shape Us?

“The need for love and intimacy is a fundamental human need, as primal as the need for food, water, and air.”  – Dean Ornish, MD, physician and founder of the nonprofit Preventive Medicine Research Institute in Sausalito, California Seth’s natural impulse was to shy away from showing his feelings to his girlfriend. That made perfect sense to me, since he grew up with a father who rarely showed affection to anyone in the family. How would a little boy learn that it was all right to express intim...
Tags: Psychology, Family, General, Parenting, Relationships, Love, Habits, NEED, Vulnerability, Personal, Self-help, Intimacy, Rejection, Shame, Modelling, Emotion

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