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Declining Vibrational Mismatches

Do you ever get invitations that are vibrationally (or emotionally) out of sync with what you’d like to experience? Do you get invited to boring events when you’re in the mood for some excitement? Do you get invited to tediously slow experiences when you’d prefer faster pacing? Do you get invitations that feel obligatory when you find freedom and flexibility more appealing? Do you get sucked into disempowering invitations (like a pity party or whinefest) when you’re shifting into emp...
Tags: Relationships, Lifestyle, Careers, Steve, Abundance


The man who texted me during lockdown has now gone quiet | Dear Mariella

That sun-soaked pause in life triggered nostalgia for many, says Mariella Frostrup. If it’s a real relationship you want focus on one driven by current connectionThe dilemma An acquaintance I didn’t know very well from 15 years ago added me on Facebook last year, then over lockdown asked for my number and started texting. He had split from his wife last year and moved out. The messaging became quite frequent and he indicated on several occasions that he was interested in meeting up. It definitel...
Tags: Facebook, Relationships, Life and style, Mariella Frostrup, Mariella, Coronavirus outbreak


Being in a frisky mood may improve your chances in the dating world

Fear of rejection, self-doubt, and anxiety are just some of the obstacles humans need to overcome to make a meaningful, romantic connection with another person.According to a 2020 project by a group of psychologists at the University of Rochester (and the Israeli-based Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya), humans see possible romantic partners as a lot more attractive if they go into the interaction with a "sexy mindset."Across three separate studies, this team discovered that this sexual activati...
Tags: Psychology, Marriage, Sex, Relationships, Love, Women, Vulnerability, Mental Health, Innovation, Fear, Reproduction, Men, Visualizations, Emotions, Rochester, Reis


Managers Need To Learn How To Compete For Their Next Promotion

Managers need to deal with co-workers who are their top competition Image Credit: Wake Forest University School of Law As a manager, it turns out that finding ways to get the most out of your team is not the only thing that you have to use your manager skills to do when you are at work. Every day when you go into work you are really riding off to battle. It turns out that your performance is always being measured against the people that you work with. Eventually somebody is going to get pro...
Tags: Career, Relationships, Careers, Competition, Rivalry, Applications, Plans, Sabotage, Flaunt, Coworker, Wake Forest University School of Law, Dr Jim Anderson Blue Elephant Consulting, Job Posting, Acknowledge, Undermine


What happens when your partner comes out as trans?

Five people who stayed close talk about navigating a seismic shift in their relationship, plus their partners on how it was for themTom Gaebel, 54, is engaged to Allie Velasquez, 41. The couple live in Los Angeles. Continue reading...
Tags: Gender, Relationships, Los Angeles, Life and style, Society, Transgender, LGBT rights, Allie Velasquez


Are You Most Loyal to Purpose or People?

Where is your greatest loyalty – to your purpose or to specific people in your life? This is an interesting character sculpting choice, isn’t it? If you remain loyal to the people in your life, your alignment with your purpose will be weaker. When you have a conflict between people and purpose, you’ll stick with the people and allow some misalignments with your purpose. For example, if your purpose is focused on personal growth, but you’re loyal to the people in your life above and beyo...
Tags: Twitter, Relationships, Careers, Values, Steve


Declining Emotional Invitations

This is a follow-up to the last two posts on emotional consent and how to invite emotional consent. What if someone makes an emotional offer, either directly or indirectly, and you’d actually like to decline? Suppose someone starts venting at you emotionally, and you know that if you continue to listen, it’s likely to be draining. Or suppose someone is pretty aware of the importance of emotional consent, and they ask you if you’re up for a heart-to-heart about something important to them. ...
Tags: Relationships, Careers, Emotions, Steve


How to Invite Emotional Consent

In my previous post, I addressed the importance of emotional consent. In this post I’ll share how to ask for emotional consent when you want to have a heart-to-heart with someone. It’s pretty straightforward in terms of the words. The intention behind it is what matters most. You could start with a line like this: I want to share my thoughts and feelings about ___.Something’s really bothering me, and I’d like to discuss it with you.I’m feeling stressed/worried/anxious/____.I’m stuck on ...
Tags: Relationships, Careers, Emotions, Steve, Don, Abundance


Emotional Consent

Have you ever had the experience of someone venting their emotions onto you or roping you into an emotional conversation, and you never actually consented to sharing that kind of experience with them? How did that feel? Did you ever feel used, abused, or drained by someone emotionally, especially someone who expected to be granted automatic access to your emotional resources? Did this encourage you to open your heart more to such people, or did you learn to keep your heart closed in such situ...
Tags: Relationships, Careers, Emotions, Steve, Don


Asking the Right Questions is the Answer: 10 Things We Forget About Our Own Ignorance

Judge a person by their questions, rather than their answers. Because asking the right questions today is the answer. It’s a harsh fact that every one of us is ignorant in some way. Although we tend to pretend otherwise, it’s impossible to know it all. Ignorance is our biggest collective secret. And it’s one of the scariest and most damaging realities of life, because those of us who are most ignorant — and thus most likely to spread ignorance — are often the ones who don’t know it. Here’s a ...
Tags: Life, Relationships, Inspiration, Lifehacks


Do Nice Zombies Make Worthwhile Friends?

Some people have asked me why I don’t engage with Trump supporters, try to understand them better, invite deep conversations with them, or something along those lines. I think it’s a valid question, and the answer is simple: I don’t see any real potential in such relationships. For me they all land somewhere on a scale that spans from dumb to dumber to dumbest. It’s not the people that are the issue per se, but the behavior pattern of supporting Trump during this time is so rotten to the core...
Tags: Relationships, Lifestyle, Careers, Values, Steve, Trump, Don, Cary Elwes, Wisconsin Democratic Party, Abundance, Creating Reality


Can reading erotica improve your sex life?

Erotica is defined as any type of art that is meant to cause sexual ideation or arousal. The main difference between erotica and pornography is that the former is seen as "art that has a sexual aspect."While there are many different misconceptions about the consumption of erotic or pornographic content, many studies on this topic prove it may not be as harmful as you think. Erotic literature can allow you to become more comfortable in your sexuality, communicate easier with your partner and may ...
Tags: Psychology, Amazon, Learning, Writing, Abc, Sex, Relationships, Love, Women, Innovation, Storytelling, Men, Victoria, Novel, Personal Growth, World Literacy Foundation


Fragile Objections

Suppose you’re sitting in a Toastmasters meeting where members are practicing their speaking skills. Suppose there are about 20 members in the room, which would be pretty typical for a Toastmasters club. Now suppose you hear a fellow member give a speech that you find objectionable, and it bothers you to hear such words spoken within your club. The topic is permitted within the club though. What do you do? Do you stay quiet and keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself? Do you voic...
Tags: Relationships, Careers, Values, Steve, Abundance, Creating Reality


Will You Ring the Bell?

During Navy SEALs training, which is really tough, recruits can quit by ringing a bell three times. Then they get a shower and a hot meal, and they’re done with the struggle. No more physical ordeals. No more being wet and sandy. No more sleep deprivation. And no more opportunity to be part of a SEAL team. Afterwards the recruits who quit can offer up any reasons they want, but it doesn’t matter in terms of results. They’ve demonstrated that they will give up on the team, so the team gr...
Tags: Relationships, Lifestyle, Careers, Values, Steve


Behaviors, Consequences, and Alignment

By supporting Trump a person supports: Racist ideas and policiesSexist ideas and policiesXenophobic ideas and policiesAnti-science ideas and policiesAnti-environment ideas and policiesMassive amounts of outright lying (20K+ false and misleading statements in 3.5 years)Massive amounts of incompetenceTreasonous collusionDirect election interferenceTweeting instead of leadingTons of utter bullshit that could easily populate a list 100x longer Even if someone would otherwise be a 10 out of 10 ...
Tags: Relationships, Careers, Values, Fox News, Steve, Trump, Stephen Covey, Supporting Trump


No, opposites do not attract

Everyone seems to agree that opposites attract. Young and old people, happy and distressed couples, single folks and married partners – all apparently buy the classic adage about love. Relationship experts have written books based on this assumption. It's even been internalized by people who are on the hunt for a partner, with 86 percent of those looking for love saying they're seeking someone with opposite traits.The problem is that what's true of magnets is not at all true of romance. As I exp...
Tags: Family, Sex, Relationships, Love, Personality, Innovation, Mind, Young, Robert Horton, Matthew D Johnson, Neil Jacobson, Matthew Montoya, Andrew Christensen Brian Doss


Fragile vs Resilient Relationships

My relationship with Rachelle is very anti-fragile. Even when one or both of us is at our worst or when there’s a lot of turmoil going on around us, there’s little risk to our relationship. We can say or do the stupidest things, and we still stick like glue. We have plenty of freedom to express different aspects of our personalities, to explore different values, and to make significant career or lifestyle changes, and we can still stick together through it all. It’s hard to find a vulnerable ...
Tags: Relationships, Careers, Values, Steve, Rachelle, Creating Reality


My partner and I have lived 4,000 miles apart for 3 years. Here's what we do to keep our long-distance relationship alive — and how we can afford it.

Sarah Bence with her partner Dan on a trip to Prague in 2016, when they both lived in England. Sarah Bence Sarah Bence is American and has been dating her British partner for seven years, after they met while Bence was studying abroad in England. They've been long-distance for the last three years.The couple tries to take turns visiting each other every three months, but it's not always easy to coordinate time off, and frequent international travel can add up quickly and create a financial ...
Tags: Travel, Usa, UK, England, London, Couples, Saving, Life, Relationships, Advice, India, Careers, Trends, Strategy, Budgeting, Prague


Stamped From the Beginning

Today I finished Ibram X. Kendi’s book Stamped From the Beginning, which is about the history of racist ideas in the USA. I found it insightful and eye-opening, and it gave me some meaningful perspective shifts on racism. I’m glad I read this book after White Fragility because the former book was much more lightweight, a very basic starter book compared to the scope and depth of Stamped From the Beginning. In particular I found it illuminating to consider that racist ideas ultimately arise...
Tags: Usa, Obama, Relationships, Careers, Values, Steve, Trump, Ibram X Kendi


Hello, Harriet: how the pandemic has led me back to an old friend, and my young self | Kate Cole-Adams

In a world without coronavirus, there are conversations that might never have happened. Their nature, too, is differentThis is part of a series of essays by Australian writers responding to the challenges of 2020Early on the morning of my 59th birthday I carry a mug across the backyard and into the studio to wait for Harriet. We haven’t been in the same country in nearly a decade, but through the alignment of datelines and digital technology we create a nest of impossible time: me in Melbourne (...
Tags: Books, Marriage, Relationships, Friendship, Women, Life and style, UK News, Australia news, Death and dying, Young People, Devon, Melbourne, Zoom, Harriet, Jo, Devon England


Why I Like My Life So Much

I did some reflection in my journal about why I like my life so much. Here’s what I came up with: Space for Reflection I like that my life isn’t overloaded with so much activity. Sometimes I get really busy, but over the course of a year and during most months of the year, I have plenty of time to think, reflect, and ponder. This month a number of friends told me how much I seem to be a person of deep thought. I do love to think deeply about many different topics, and I’m genuinely cu...
Tags: Relationships, Lifestyle, Careers, Emotions, Steve, Rachelle, Abundance


Core of Play

While pondering an update to my mission statement, I was thinking about how to frame relationships, and this line popped into my mind: My relationships are based on play. My relationship with Rachelle fits this like a glove, and I think it’s why we’ve had 10+ happy years together. Same goes for my best friendships. This applies to more than human relationships, like my relationships with work, creative projects, personal growth experiments, writing, speaking, courses, coaching, hobbies,...
Tags: Productivity, Relationships, Lifestyle, Careers, Values, Emotions, Steve, Rachelle, Abundance


Is it feminist to be obsessed with Kamala Harris's husband?

The partners of past vice-presidents barely ever get this much attention. Has anyone heard about Mike Pence’s wife?In recent days you’ve probably read a lot about Doug Emhoff – or, as he is more commonly known, Kamala Harris’s husband.Many a breathless piece has been written about the Democratic vice-presidential candidate’s partner doing very cute, but nonetheless bare minimum acts (he retweets his wife!; he loves his children!; he has a job!). Granted, to see two married people being so nice t...
Tags: Relationships, Life and style, US news, US politics, Kamala Harris, Mike Pence, US elections 2020, Doug Emhoff


Seeking the Final Straw

Here’s an interesting pattern: When people are heading towards a major transition, they often wait for a “final straw” incident before making a move. In other words they wait until some arbitrary event happens that’s good enough to quality as the final reason that pushes them over the edge. So an incident happens at work, and that becomes the reason for quitting. Or an event happens in a relationship, and that becomes the reason for breaking up. But of course those events are just catalyst...
Tags: Relationships, Lifestyle, Careers, Steve


White Fragility

Earlier this week I read the book White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo, which is about how resistant white people can be when it comes to discussing and learning about systemic racism. I thought the book had some interesting insights, although it was more academic and less emotional than I expected. I was expecting something punchier and more story-based whereas sometimes this book felt like a corporate training manual. I also thought it was a bit short relative to the weightiness of the topic. ...
Tags: Relationships, Careers, Values, Steve, Robin DiAngelo


Words Are Actions

Some people claim that actions matter and words alone don’t count for much. That philosophy may be popular, but it isn’t based in truth. Words matter tremendously. Words are actions, and they absolutely do count – at least as much as any other form of action does. Words influence people. Words create impact, even when you’re not trying to be impactful. Words create ripples. And words incur responsibility. With words alone you can change the course of someone’s life. You can affect so...
Tags: Relationships, Careers, Values, Steve, Don


'Like a prison sentence': the couples separated by Covid-19

A campaign has highlighted plight of unmarried couples from different countries parted for monthsCoronavirus – latest updatesSee all our coronavirus coverage Sarah flew home to Germany in April, leaving her boyfriend, Fares, behind in Jordan, unsure when they might see each other again. “She thought it might take a couple of months,” Fares said.Inside, he was steeling himself for as long as six months apart, although “I didn’t tell her that,” he says. Continue reading...
Tags: Relationships, Germany, Life and style, World news, Jordan, Sarah, Coronavirus outbreak


How can you actively boost your low libido?

Low libido, or sudden changes in your sex drive, can be overwhelming and cause embarrassment or shame, but this is a common problem that could have many different solutions.According to research, managing your anxiety/stress levels, maintaining a healthy diet and proper sleeping habits, and cutting down on things such as alcohol or smoking can all boost your libido. Low libido can have many causes (physical, emotional, medical, etc). If you find you are struggling with this and are not able to f...
Tags: Psychology, Health, Marriage, Sleep, Sex, Relationships, Women, Depression, Innovation, Men, WebMD, American Urological Association AUA, Human body, National Women s Health Resource Center


‘I'm 21 and I've never been kissed’: six people on big experiences they haven’t had

We all remember our first kiss… but what if it hasn’t happened yet? And what about swimming in the ocean, riding a bike or going to the cinema? Amelia Tait talks to six people about things they haven’t doneLauren, 21, Michigan Continue reading...
Tags: Travel, Books, Film, Relationships, Life and style, Culture, Michigan Continue, Amelia Tait


‘We were sexually frustrated’: did it work out for people who texted an ex in lockdown?

It’s never been easier to track down your first love online, and during the pandemic many people did just thatDressed up for the first time in lockdown, and wearing a full face of makeup, Annabelle Richards went to meet her first love. The last time she had seen Junior St Clair was in the summer of 1992. She was 17, and on a bus bound for London. He was 20 and standing outside Ipswich bus station, bawling. “As the coach pulled away there were tears pouring down his cheeks,” Annabelle recalls, “a...
Tags: Facebook, London, Sex, Relationships, Life and style, Ipswich, Annabelle, Croydon, Coronavirus outbreak, Annabelle Richards, Junior St Clair



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