Posts filtered by tags: Relationships & Family[x]


23 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do

With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Friday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in June 2017. Even though the modern world isn’t any more dangerous than it was thirty or forty years ago, it feels like a more perilous place. Or, more accurately, we inhabit the world today in a way that’s much more risk averse; for a variety of very interesting and nuanced re...
Tags: Amazon, Life, Fatherhood, Vermont, Overprotective Parenting, George, Hewitt, Geronimo, Napoleon Dynamite, Lenore Skenazy, Relationships & Family, Ben Hewitt, Railroad Track Kate, Workshop Penny, Eli Duke The

Podcast #611: How a Weekly Marriage Meeting Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Several years ago, Kate and I implemented a practice that has helped strengthen our relationship. It’s called a “marriage meeting,” and we got the idea from my guest today. Her name is Marcia Naomi Berger, and she’s a therapist and the author of Marriage Meetings: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted. Marcia and I begin our discussion with how she developed the idea of marriage meetings and why couples can benefit from implementing this habit. We then unpack the four-par...
Tags: Podcast, Marriage, Life, Kate, Marcia, Marcia Naomi Berger, Relationships & Family, Marriage Against Divorce Marriage, Marcia Marcia

What to Do When Someone Tells the Same Stories Over and Over

We all have that friend or relative who tells the same stories over and over. As soon as he or she gets underway with the well-worn setup, you can see spouses exchange a “here we go again” glance, and people intentionally try to put on a face they hope disguises their disinterest and carries the appearance of listening to something for the first time. We want to be patient with people. Some folks retell stories because their memory isn’t very good, or because the deck of life experiences they d...
Tags: Life, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Smith, Arnold, Social Skills, Relationships & Family

Podcast #609: The 3 Tasks of Moving From Adolescence to Adulthood

A lot of ink has been spilled about how young people today are struggling to transition from adolescence to adulthood. But these think pieces are often heavy on blame and light on solutions. My guest today takes an understanding approach to the difficulties of growing up, as well as offers practical strategies for facilitating the process. His name is Mark McConville, and he’s a family clinical psychologist who’s spent decades working with young clients and written a book on what he’s found d...
Tags: Podcast, Life, Fatherhood, Mark, Mark Mark, Relationships & Family, Jeffrey Arnett, Mark McConville

18 At-Home Date Ideas

With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Friday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in February 2016. Every relationship expert will tell you that one of the keys to keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship is continuing to court your significant other, even after you get hitched. They’ll tell you to set aside a regular date night to reconnect and r...
Tags: Marriage, Life, Dating, Kate, Baby, Vermont, Relationships & Family, Fireplace Weenie Marshmallow Roast

How to Build Instant Rapport

Navigating first impressions can be a tricky business. On the one hand, you want to be yourself, not only for the sake of authenticity, but to allow you and the other person to accurately feel out whether or not you have a connection worth pursuing. Acting like someone you’re not for the sake of being initially charming may garner temporary success, but merely postpones the recognition of fundamental, relationship-dissolving differences. On the other hand, initial encounters are inevitably plag...
Tags: Life, Body Language, Miguel, Social Skills, Joe Rogan, Relationships & Family, Western Park, Dress Similarly Clothing

How to Avoid Conversational Narcissism

With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Friday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in May 2011.  Last month I met up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in forever to have lunch. Having both read and written about how to be an effective and charismatic conversationalist, I followed the old dictum of listening more than talking and asking the other person engaging...
Tags: Marriage, Life, Etiquette, Friendship, Communication, Dating, Rob, Mustang, James, Social Skills, Small Talk, Relationships & Family, Art Of Conversation, Charles Derber, Derber, Shift Response James

How to Fight Entitlement and Develop Gratitude in Your Kids

According to a survey cited by psychology professor Robert Emmons, when parents were asked what they worried about most regarding their children, the majority didn’t name drugs, sex, global warming, political crisis, or the economic future. Instead, two-thirds of parents said their primary concern about their kids, was their sense of entitlement. They’re right to worry. A sense of entitlement breeds a number of negative qualities: envy, resentment, selfishness, greed, petulant indignation, lazi...
Tags: Life, Fatherhood, Robert, Cicero, Emmons, Robert Emmons, Relationships & Family, Robert A Emmons

A Man’s Guide to Etiquette

There are few words that generate less excitement in a male audience than “etiquette.” On the scale of things men like to talk about, it usually ranks somewhere between contemporary dance and nail polish. But it matters. It matters a lot, actually. Etiquette is as much a part of your appearance as the cut of your suit. It affects how everyone perceives you, from the waiter you tip to the person watching you tip them. A man who dresses like a gentleman but behaves like a boor isn’t going to be ...
Tags: Life, Etiquette, Nice, Cubs, Nice Guy, Emily Post, Relationships & Family, Antonio CentenoFounder, Real Men Real StyleClick

Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations

Asking for a raise. Disagreeing with your boss. Telling your neighbor that their dog’s barking is bothering you. Talking about money with your spouse. Debating politics with a friend. These are all difficult conversations fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but my guest says that with the right framework, you can handle even the most pitfall-laden exchanges. Her name is Sheila Heen, she’s spent twenty years developing negotiation theory and practice as p...
Tags: Podcast, Life, Communication, Social Skills, Sheila, Relationships & Family, Harvard Negotiation Project, Sheila Heen, Podcast Sponsors Navy Federal Credit Union Proud, Sheila TriadLearning

Podcast #555: Dandelion Children vs. Orchid Children

You’ve probably observed families in which one of the kids is super resilient and easy-going while the other is super sensitive and anxious. Same family, same parents, but two extremely different children. What gives?  My guest today says that some kids are like robust dandelions, while others are like fragile orchids. And while the fragility of orchid children might seem like a liability, in the right circumstances, these kids can actually thrive to an even greater extent than their dandelio...
Tags: Podcast, Life, Fatherhood, Lightbox, Tom, Relationships & Family, W Thomas Boyce, Smooth Transition Listen

Gut Check: Are You a Contemptible Person?

Are you really struggling in life? You can’t keep a job, can’t make friends, can’t find a significant other.  You know something is deeply wrong with your personality and/or behavior, but you can’t pinpoint or describe what it is. Or maybe you don’t think anything is wrong with you, and thus feel befuddled as to why nothing seems to be going your way and you aren’t making progress in life.  The diagnosis for what’s going on may be this: you’re a contemptible person . That might sur...
Tags: Life, Social Skills, John Gottman, Kohut, Relationships & Family, Matthew Kohut, John Neffinger, Neffinger, Robert Solomon, Contemptibles

24 Better Questions to Ask Kids About How Their Day Went

It used to be that when my kids would come home from school, I’d ask them the two questions parents have been asking their children since the dawn of mandatory education:  “What did you do in school today?” And: “How was your day today?” Their answers to these queries were as invariable as the rising and setting of the sun: “Nothing” and “Good.” I was bugged by those content-less replies, but I don’t know why I expected anything different. After all, that’s what I told my mom when I...
Tags: Life, Fatherhood, SNES, Relationships & Family, Better Questions

Podcast #550: How to Strengthen Your Marriage Against Divorce

While the divorce rate has fallen over the last several decades, plenty of couples still don’t pass the test of time. Fortunately, the odds as to whether or not you divorce are not a matter of pure chance, but something you can improve with intentionality.  My guest has some research-backed advice on how. His name is Scott Stanley, he’s a professor of psychology at the University of Denver and the co-author of the book Fighting for Your Marriage. We last had Scott on the show to talk about th...
Tags: Podcast, Marriage, Life, America, Michael Strahan, Jcpenney, Scott, University of Denver, Relationships & Family, MSX, Scott Stanley, Twitter Listen, Eli Finkel, Vanguard Click, Weekly Marriage Meeting Marriage

9 Reasons You Should Host a Dinner Party This Weekend

dinner parties . . . can serve as the very cornerstone of a healthy modern society. –Brunch Is Hell: How to Save the World by Throwing a Dinner Party Kate and I really love having dinner parties. In fact, hardly a month goes by that we don’t have friends over to sup with us at least once. From anecdotal observation, this proclivity of ours seems more unusual than usual. And research bears this out: according to Bureau of Labor statistics, since 2003 the amount of time Americans spend either at...
Tags: Life, Friendship, Travel & leisure, Food & Drink, Kate, Costco, Social Skills, Dinner Party, Brendan, Bureau of Labor, Relationships & Family, Gagliano, Rico Gagliano, Newnam, Brendan Francis Newnam

How to Test Your Relationship Without Moving In Together

Over the last few decades, it’s become more and more common for couples to move in together while they’re dating. They often opt for this living arrangement because it feels convenient, and also because they want to “test” the relationship before deciding whether or not to get married. Couples figure that by experiencing what it’s like to live in close proximity and do day-to-day routines together, they can make a better decision about their compatibility and long-term prospects, in order to a...
Tags: Life, Dating, Rob, University of Denver, Stanley, Relationships & Family, Scott Stanley

What Pattern Are You Setting in Your Family?

  When you’re making choices as a parent concerning your children and your family, it’s easy to choose whatever is most comfortable and convenient in the moment. But a friend of mine once gave me a much better criterion for making these decisions — asking yourself: “What pattern do I want to set for my family?” Let me give you a couple of examples of how we’ve used this advice. Have you ever been camping with small children? It’s a hassle and a half. There’s the packing and unpacking. The fact ...
Tags: Life, Honda, Fatherhood, Mom, Relationships & Family, McKays

Sunday Fireside: Beware of Emotional Contamination

If life came with warning labels, one should read: “Beware of emotional contamination.” Emotional contamination occurs when the feelings/mood that were created from one event “pollute” another. You think you don’t like the tone in which your wife asks you a question . . . when really you’re peeved from a bad day at work. You feel like you’re irritated by your kid’s too-loud hijinks . . . when really you’re still stewing from being snubbed on social media. You decide a certain job opportunity d...
Tags: Marriage, Life, Friendship, Communication, Dating, Relationships & Family, A Man's Life, Sunday Firesides

Advice to the Newly Married

Editor’s note: The following excerpt on “Advice to the Newly Married” comes from The Business of Life by Frank Crane, published in 1920. Now, young folks, you’re just fresh married, you’re as happy as June-bugs, life seems one infinite, rimless custard pie, and Messrs. Joy and Gladness, so to speak, seem to have moved in to stay, occupying the front room and being present at all meals. Hence open up your ears and hearken unto your Uncle Dudley while he exudes a few words of thee-star wisdom. I...
Tags: Marriage, Life, Dudley, Adam, Relationships & Family, Frank Crane, Messrs Joy

7 Romantic, Non-Lame, Can’t-Miss DIY Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Gal

Valentine’s Day is in two weeks; have you thought about what you’re going to get for your lady love? Chocolates and flowers are pretty boring and cliche. Jewelry is expensive, and equally unoriginal. She might swear she wants “nothing,” but what she usually means is that she doesn’t want anything big. She’s probably still hoping for some small acknowledgment of the holiday, even just a card. And if she thinks she’s okay with your skipping even that, she’d still be thrilled — especially so give...
Tags: Marriage, Life, Dating, Jane Austen, Projects, Manly Skills, Relationships & Family, Primer Magazine

Vintage Secrets to Being a Good Conversationalist

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from Our Deportment by John H. Young, an etiquette manual published in 1882. The character of a person is revealed by his conversation as much as by any one quality he possesses, for strive as he may he cannot always be acting. Importance of Conversing Well To be able to converse well is an attainment which should be cultivated by every intelligent man and woman. It is better to be a good talker than a good singer or musician, because the former is ...
Tags: Kentucky, Life, Etiquette, Communication, Social Skills, Thackeray, Henry Clay, Relationships & Family, John H Young, Confidence of Others Never

Surprisingly Relevant Rules From 1882 on Being a Good Houseguest (and Host)

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from Our Deportment by John H. Young, an etiquette manual published in 1882. Some of the social observances pertaining to visiting away from one’s own home, and accepting the hospitalities of friends, are here given and are applicable to ladies and gentlemen alike. General Invitations No one should accept a general invitation for a prolonged visit. “Do come and spend some time with me” may be said with all earnestness and cordiality, but to give the...
Tags: Life, Etiquette, Host, Relationships & Family, John H Young

How to Accept Your Partner’s Flaws

Once the heady chemicals of new love — which transform one’s sweetheart into the very picture of human perfection — wear off, each partner discovers that no matter how compatible they are, there is a least one thing, and sometimes several, that each dislikes in the other. Each possesses some habit, behavior, or personality quirk that annoys, infuriates, and/or disappoints the other person.   As the relationship goes on, the pair may remain very much in love, but their respective idiosyncrasies ...
Tags: Marriage, Life, Dating, Kate, Relationships & Family

4 Recommended Books for Soon-to-Be and New Dads

When Kate was pregnant with our first kiddo, I wanted to do the best I could to help her out during her pregnancy, as well as prepare for being a father to Gus when he finally arrived on the scene. So I did what any 21st century dad-to-be would do: I hopped on Amazon to see what books were out there on the subject. What I discovered was that there wasn’t much useful information available for soon-to-be-fathers and new dads. Most of the books out there for new dads were short on useful in...
Tags: Amazon, Life, Kate, Fatherhood, Carr, David Carr, Gus, Relationships & Family

Why Every Young Man Should Play a Team Sport

Some of my best memories from my childhood and teenage years involve my participation in team sports. I played baseball and basketball during elementary and middle school, and football all through high school. The funny thing is, the scenes that stick out to me the most from these experiences aren’t specific plays or key moments in a game (though I do have a few special memories of this type). Rather, I mainly think about the camaraderie and sense of belonging that being on a team gave me as a ...
Tags: Life, Sports, Kate, Fatherhood, Dad, Gus, Theodore Roosevelt, Health & Sports, Relationships & Family, Lionel Tiger, Jack Donovan, Intra Inter Competition A

How to Ask Better Questions on a First Date

Engaging in small talk with anyone can be a little nerve-racking — you’re on an improv stage for two, and have to think of things to say on the fly, avoid awkward silences, and come off as at least moderately charming to boot. Engaging in small talk on a first date can be especially anxiety-ridden. While unspoken, you’re being actively evaluated on your attractiveness (both in personality and looks). It’s like a “job” interview for the position of potential significant other. Ace it, and it cou...
Tags: Life, Dating, Relationships & Family

Talk WITH People, Not AT Them

One of the insidious things about trying to judge our own social skills, is that if an interaction went well for us, then we assume the other person thought it went well too. While you’ve probably never consciously thought about it, if you had a good time talking to someone, you think they felt the same. But this just isn’t the case. It’s very possible for you to walk away from an interaction feeling grand, while the other person walks away feeling annoyed, bored, or burdened.   What usually ha...
Tags: Life, Nba, White, Social Skills, Dole, Relationships & Family, Valerie White, Ann Demarais

Wise Parenting Dos and Don’ts From 1886

Editor’s note: The following excerpt comes from Hill’s Manual of Social and Business Forms by Thomas Edie Hill, which was published in 1886. What Parents Should Never Do Never speak harshly to a child. Never use disrespectful names. Never use profane or vulgar words in the presence of a child. Do not be so cold and austere as to drive your child from you. Never misrepresent. If you falsify the child will learn to deceive also. Never withhold praise when the child deserves it. Commendation is ...
Tags: Life, Fatherhood, Hill, Relationships & Family, Thomas Edie Hill

How to Share a Life of Outdoors Strenuosity With Your Son

Editor’s note: The following is an excerpt from “Father, Son and the Out-of-Doors,” included in Frank H. Cheley’s The Job of Being a Dad, a book published in 1923. It has been condensed from the original chapter. Today everything is so different. Unquestionably one of the great problems of the modern day is the tendency toward soft living; too much heat; too much dress-up clothes; soft, highly seasoned food to tease the appetite. The curse of modern city life for all of us is softness; soft lig...
Tags: Life, Fatherhood, Dad, Hunt, Relationships & Family, John Ballard, Frank Crane, Frank H Cheley

The Ultimate Collection of Quotes About Fatherhood

Fathers tend to be taken for granted. We invariably make more of a fuss over Mom on Mother’s Day than Dad on Father’s Day, for one. Dads are like a steady but less sentimentalized institution — the sun in our familial sky that warms and gives life but isn’t much thought about unless he goes missing. Yet this belies the enormous impact fathers truly have on their children; while a dad’s nurturing may often take the form of playful roughhousing and silly jokes, his influence is quite serious and ...
Tags: Life, Mother, Peter Carey, Jonathan Safran Foer, George Bernard Shaw, Fatherhood, John Green, Sigmund Freud, Jackson Browne, John Marquand, Plato, Tom Perry, Billy Graham, John Steinbeck, Tom Wolfe, Howard W Hunter

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