Posts filtered by tags: Match Report[x]


 

A mouse in cricket whites at The Home of Corks – a match report

Send your match reports to [email protected]ket.co.uk. If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail. Balladeer writes: Long-time readers may recall my last jaunt to Lord’s, in the company of my friends Troubadour and Minstrel. Unfortunately those two fine humans have since decamped beyond the Watford Gap, meaning I’ll likely never see them again. This meant that when Durham (whom ...
Tags: Sex, Match Report, Victoria, Watford, Warwickshire, Middlesex, Durham, Compton, Wilfred, Tanya Aldred, Edrich, Laurence Elderbrook, Middlesex Second XI, Lancashire Second XI, Mummer


“I had an idea how the day would pan out but I went anyway” – a match report

Send your match reports to [email protected] If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail. Edwardian went to Cambridge MCCU versus Worcestershire CCC at Fenner’s back in April. Edwardian writes… I had an idea how the day would pan out but I went anyway. I hadn’t been able to get to any of the county fixtures at Fenner’s so I decided to go, expecting to leave at lunch...
Tags: Sex, Cambridge, Match Report, Worcester, Middlesex, Glamorgan, Worcestershire, Robert, Fenner, New Road, Worcestershire Sauce, Pollock, MCCU, Middlesex CCC, Worcestershire CCC, Cambridge MCCU


What was it like to go and see Hampshire v Somerset in the 2019 Royal London One-Day Cup Final?

The Lord of the Rings Send your match reports to [email protected] If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail. If you’ve not worked it out by now, our match report feature is not about the matches themselves; it’s about different people’s experiences of going to watch them. It was the final of the Royal London One-Day Cup this weekend and we’ve got a full report of… wha...
Tags: London, Sex, Match Report, Sam, Hampshire, Somerset, Glamorgan, Mumbai Indians, Teddington, Royal Challengers Bangalore IPL


What was it like to watch New Zealand v South Africa at the Basin Reserve? (a match report)

The Basin Reserve, Wellington (CC licensed by Greg Salmon via Flickr) Send your match reports to [email protected] If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail. Rhys writes: Wellington experiences a little bit of weather on occasion. Cold weather occurs more often during winter and autumn than during summer. We don’t let this stop us from booking marquee tours in April, thou...
Tags: England, Sex, South Africa, New Zealand, Match Report, Wellington, Sri Lanka, Rhys, Galle, Wellington Airport, Basin Reserve, Basin Reserve Wellington CC, Greg Salmon


A legitimate excuse for missing Warwickshire v Kent in County Championship Division Two last year (a match report)

Edgbaston (CC licensed by Steven N via Flickr) Send your match reports to [email protected] If it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. If it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail. Sam writes: When your favoured sporting team is on the verge of winning a precious trophy, you would expect to be glued to the action. Okay, it’s not always possible to be there in person. We’ve all got busy lives and/or live in a remo...
Tags: Sex, Nottinghamshire, Surrey, Match Report, Kent, Sam, Warwickshire, Steven N, Edgbaston CC, West Midlands Warriors


Tottenham 1-0 Chelsea: Come and get it.

Us: Morata last minute injury, which left us with a false nine and a dubiously fit Beard on the bench. All the clamour, though, was around the fact that CHO got a start in a notable semi-final. A well-deserved start.  We survived the first minute; Huzzah. Promising early signs, even though it took them all of two minutes to try and get a penalty by cheating. The first effort from the slobbering moron was solidly saved by Kepa on 4, but we were by no means cowed and pathetic like the last ti...
Tags: Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Tottenham, League Cup, Match Report, Harry Kane, Latest, Kevin De Bruyne, Oliver, Willian, Jorginho, Barkley, Christensen, Alonso, Morata


Chelsea 2-0 Man City: Will the real slim Chelsea please stand up.

Us : It’s going to take more than a buzz cut to make defenders fear Alvaro Morata. Or to impress Sarri, who didn’t even put him on the bench. False nine, goodie. I don’t think Alonso even looks properly fit so that was disappointing too. No surprise Christensen is gone gone after Wolves, or that overall Sarri has resorted pretty much to his preferred eleven.  Them: No Aguero, no De Bruyne. No pressure for Sarri, who has variously been referred to this week as another Scolari, a Pound Shop Pep...
Tags: Facebook, City, Sport, Paypal, Dave, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Wayne Rooney, Wembley, Jesus, Match Report, Ben Foster, Gary Lineker, Anfield, Sterling


Chelsea 2-0 Manchester City - A fantastic team performance delivers an unexpected result.

Chelsea beat Manchester City with goals from N'Golo Kante and David Luiz in a fine team performance at Stamford Bridge. With two defeats in the last three games in addition to poor defensive performances, no-one would have predicted what happened tonight. The regular readers of this website and my new Vlog on YouTube would know that I personally was dreading this one. Thinking back to how Tottenham ripped us apart and the last thirty minutes against Wolves in midweek ; I could only see the...
Tags: Youtube, City, Sport, Barcelona, Munich, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Manchester City, Tottenham, Raheem Sterling, Pep Guardiola, Jesus, Match Report, Didier Drogba, Stamford Bridge


What’s it like to watch cricket at Galle? (Sri Lanka v South Africa match report)

Galle International Cricket Ground (CC licensed by Adaptor Plug via Flickr) Bradders writes: Living in the UAE, Sri Lanka is but a mere hop, skip and a jump away and at short notice a few of us decided to travel to Sri Lanka to celebrate the impending marriage of our good pal Jeremy, AKA the Grizzly on account of his hirsute nature. It turned out quite fortuitously that the second day of our two-day trip coincided with the second day of the Test match between Sri Lanka and the touring Sout...
Tags: England, Sex, South Africa, Zimbabwe, Match Report, Jeremy, Sri Lanka, Trent Bridge, England V South Africa, Galle, England Test, UAE Sri Lanka, Galle Stadium, Galle International Cricket Ground CC, Flickr Bradders, Chris Rogers Send


Chelsea 3-1 Crystal Palace - Instant Victory. Just Add Hazard.

Us: Barkley starts, both Kovacic and Ruben on the bench. Hazard fit enough to be used as a sub. We were condemning abusive Gary Cahill bashers on the radio on Friday. Christensen not even on the bench today, and clearly behind our Captain in the pecking order right now. Food for thought for the Twitterati. The Dane has got work to do so far as impressing Sarri is concerned. One could argue that if Zappacosta can get on the bench and you can’t, you really are in the doghouse. Them: Zaha answ...
Tags: Facebook, London, Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Wayne Rooney, Andros Townsend, Match Report, Latest, Palace, Gary Cahill, Eden, Willian, Fabregas, Barkley


Burnley 0-4 Chelsea: Anything you can do.

Burnley 0 Chelsea 4 Sunday 28th October 2018 13:30 Football hasn’t been a place for levity this weekend. Too many people at Leicester and at Brighton have died in the simple act of going to a football game. Glenn Hoddle almost died on the floor of the BT Sport studio. It doesn’t seem right to produce the usual litany of mockery here this week. A short write up of our game follows, and normal service will be resumed again on Wednesday when we welcome Frank back to the bridge. Rudi, Luiz...
Tags: Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Brighton, Ross Barkley, Burnley, Match Report, Leicester, Joe Hart, Europa League, Latest, George Michael, Willian, Jorginho, Frank


Chelsea 2-2 Manchester United: When £15m starts to look like peanuts.

I dedicate this to Robby-kins. The only United fan with a northern accent I've ever met We'll ignore the fact he should support Bolton :DSomewhere in West London, Sarri is chain smoking himself into oblivion after watching that. I am too, and I don’t even smoke. In the News: Speaking of Sarri, apparently superstitions on his list include lighting a fag at a hairpin bend, three coffees before a game and he’s incapable of crossing white lines on a pitch. No wonder he was never a player, he’d end...
Tags: Milan, Spain, Sport, Dave, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Manchester United, Newcastle, Fergie, Mike Ashley, Ferguson, Rob, Cardiff, Burnley, Match Report


A Middlesex Second XI v Lancashire Second XI match report (from 2016)

Ged writes: The best laid plans, eh? My plan for the day was to have a real tennis lesson at 10am and stay to watch the finale of the Middlesex v Durham match. But Middlesex decided to bring an end to those proceedings the day before. Plan B. Real tennis lesson at 10am, then scoot from Lord’s to Radlett to catch at least two sessions of dinky-doos play there (Editor: We have no idea what this means, but sometimes it’s just better to publish and hope that no-one uncovers your ignorance than actu...
Tags: London, Sex, Match Report, Lancashire, Paul Collingwood, Middlesex, Durham, Josh, Michael Atherton, Lord 's, Radlett, Uxbridge, Colly, Dumbo, Middlesex Second XI, Lancashire Second XI


Chelsea 1-0 Vidi - Please make it stop!

So back to the Bridge it is, where it is so easy to be a tout than even the ambulance men are at it. I hope they made a massive loss tonight. Buoyant Hungarian support outside the away entrance. I shall marvel at their jubilatory antics from the posh seats with JK. Whilst I feast on the club's pick 'n' mix. Us: wholesale changes as you'd expect - Loftus-Cheek's rumoured start came to pass. Pedro Pony returns from that clattering he took. Hurrah. I was going to revert to Pesto, until knobhea...
Tags: London, Australia, Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Bt Sport, Match Report, Europa League, Latest, Michael Owen, Eden, Willian, Barkley, Don, Morata, Bucharest


Chelsea 1-1 Liverpool: I feel robbed because we almost got over the line.

Match report written by Alex Churchill from the fantastic Chelsea Blog - A Girl Who Likes Balls. Batten down the hatches and hold onto your hats, she tells it exactly as it is.  Us: The now standard nine that go on the team sheet every top game, with The Beard preferred over Morata, unsurprising when you factor in Van Dick, as Alf Garnett (sitcoms alias) rechristened him yesterday. And Willian gets the start that he usually fights out with Pedro Pony. Them: I just don't care. Eleven tedi...
Tags: America, Sport, Dave, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Liverpool, Southampton, Rooney, Jesus, Match Report, Sturridge, Merseyside, Klopp, Latest, Courtois


PAOK Thessaloniki 0-1 Chelsea: Fantasising about Ross Barkley, Bruce Buck and Garlic Butter.

But not in that order. Not since the British Army landed a completely pointless force at Salonika in WW1 has a group of Englishmen been so reticent to make a trip to Greece. And for equally good reason, as people were being attacked as early as Thursday morning.Them: Only two of them were Greek. I couldn’t name them, or the nine that weren’t.Us: Five changes - Willian in, Barkley, Christensen, Morata, Zappacosta. Cahill only on the bench - not a single second played for Sarri yet in a competiti...
Tags: Greece, France, Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, British Army, Ross Barkley, West Ham, Uefa, Match Report, Nigel, Beirut, Europa League, Latest, Michael Owen, Willian


Chelsea 4-1 Cardiff: Top of the League and Eden Hazard's having a laugh!

Us: Sh*t starts to get real now, with a mass of fixtures on the horizon. Pedro Pony (apparently, in the mind of a five year old girl, the greatest compliment you can pay anyone is to say there are as awesome as a pony, and little Mia bestowed this honour on him at the Bournemouth game) got the nod over Willian for today, as did The Beard over Morata. This looked like a slap in the face, but for reasons that will become apparent turned out to be a good call. Kovacic started alongside Kante, a...
Tags: Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Bournemouth, Cardiff, Match Report, Neil Warnock, Mia, Latest, Beard, George Michael, Eden, Willian, Harry Arter, Moss


A near-streak match report from Lord’s from when England played India

Edwardian writes: I had stayed in London the night before, so got to Lord’s early. I was frisked by a security chap who was pouring with sweat. “Blimey, mate,” I said. “You’ve been on it.” He replied: “It’s the menopause” – a line I suspect he was using liberally. After a saunter and a coffee I got to my seat in the front row of the Edrich Lower Tier. I was pleased to find that I was sitting one seat away from the same man that I had sat next to at the Pakistan Test. We shook hands, pleased at...
Tags: England, London, Sex, India, South Africa, Pakistan, Yorkshire, Match Report, Norfolk, Kent, Worcester, St Paul, Farringdon, Forest Of Dean, Stanford Superstars


Chelsea 3-2 Arsenal: Better than Huddersfield but by no means the finished article.

Us: Sarri reckons it will take four weeks to get the players up to speed on the way he wants to play. With that in mind he went for the same line up as last week, but we all hoped that Hazard would be fit for more than the 15/20 minutes he played at Huddersfield. Nice sub to bring on.  Them: "I don't know what he's been doing for the last five or six weeks," said Tony Adams after the City game. Emery set up a desperate friendly with Palace midweek to fix things. I won't lie. He weirds me ou...
Tags: Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Arsenal, Arsene Wenger, Wenger, Newcastle, South America, Match Report, Huddersfield, Latest, David Luiz, Eden, Willian, Atkinson


Huddersfield Town 0-3 Chelsea - Who the hell is number 29?

I am most definitely not match fit. My right arse cheek is cramping from standing up for so long.Us: We were eighth at kick off. F*ck this. I blame the board. And Torres. No place for CHO even on the bench - picked up a knock apparently. Kepa started in goal, and they'd just about managed to get his whole surname on the back of his shirt. Kante being Kante went right into the side after fifteen minutes of training.Them: Not a clue.So, a sunny afternoon in Huddersfield, which was in Yorkshire, s...
Tags: Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Newcastle, Yorkshire, Match Report, Huddersfield, Petr Cech, Latest, Courtois, Willian, Huddersfield Town, Jorginho, Barkley, Janice


England v Australia ODI at Cardiff – an overview of food, beer and men in odd shirts

Tom writes: Having not been to Sophia Gardens before, I was a little unsure what to expect. However, having been to international matches before, I knew that I would be at least £60 less well off before I started. Nevertheless, we got in, only to find out they can’t serve until 10am. There was a man with a watch there to enforce it. We made the mistake of going to the first bar we found: Foster’s or Strongbow. I wanted something vaguely resembling beer, so cans of John Smith’s it was. £5 each, ...
Tags: England, Australia, Sex, Cardiff, Match Report, Brussels, Sophia Gardens, Australia Odi, Tom, John Smith, Hussain, Mike Gatting


Essex v West Indies indoctrination of a young mind match report

Dan writes: My seven year old son looks a demon with the bat in his hands in the back garden, and he actually pays attention when the cricket’s on the TV. He seems to reserve special interest for the Test matches, which is very pleasing. So this summer we signed him up at the local cricket club (can I give Rankins of Rochford, Essex, a plug and a thank you?) as part of the ECB’s All Star Cricket programme for 5 to 8 year olds. He loved it. I loved that one of the coaches was very encouraging of...
Tags: England, Sex, India, Essex, Match Report, Ecb, West Indies, Dan, Sabina Park, Rochford Essex, Essex Academy, England Barbados


What’s it been like watching Ireland’s first Test, against Pakistan at Malahide?

Kevin O’Brien’s hundred (via @IrishCricketers Twitter video) Chuck writes: With my Aged Parent heading towards 83 not out this summer (a superb innings), I decided it was time to introduce him to the pleasures of Test cricket by bringing him to his, and Ireland’s, and indeed my first men’s Test match, against Pakistan in Malahide. Well, day three of it, anyway. Coming as we were from different sides of the city, we arranged to meet far too early in the city centre (it’s a genetic thing) and t...
Tags: Chuck, England, Sex, Ap, Ireland, Pakistan, Sunderland, Tokyo, Match Report, Ricky Ponting, Gardai, Malahide, Kevin O Brien, Javon Scantlebury


Newcastle 3-0 Chelsea: Love you Chelsea but just can't look at you right now.

Match report written by Alex Churchill from the fantastic Chelsea Blog - A Girl who likes balls . Alex tells it exactly how it is and in this particular report, she does not hold back! Them: Twelve different sponsors coughing up cash for everything from the dressing room to the hot dog cart. Took longer to announce that lot than the team, most of whom I've never heard of.  Us: Conte appeared to have given more than a single f*ck about choosing this line up, which was an im...
Tags: John Lewis, Sport, Dave, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Newcastle, Moscow, Harry Potter, Sam Allardyce, God, Match Report, Frank Lampard, Latest, Wetherspoon, Alex


Chelsea 1-1 Huddersfield Town: Someone hold my drink!

Match report today is written by Alex Churchill from the fantastic Chelsea Blog - A Girl Who Likes Balls . Taking no prisoners, she tells it exactly as it is! Us: Lots of rotation. For no clear reason that I can fathom. Six changes to a side that played out of their skin at the weekend. Totally. Unnecessary. Caballero for Courtois, Morata back in. Zappacosta instead of Moses, Willian comes back in to the side, as does Pesto in place of Hazard and Bakayoko. Christensen comes in for ...
Tags: Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Liverpool, Brighton, Sam Allardyce, Jesus, Match Report, Huddersfield, Harry Kane, Wimbledon, Latest, Charlie Austin, Alex, Stella


A report on a 2016 England v Sri Lanka match on which we’ve already reported

Ged writes: It was the first day of the 2016 Lord’s Test between England and Sri Lanka. I was honoured to have His Majesty, King Cricket, among my guests that day in the Lower Compton – as reported here by His Majesty himself. As the predictable shower of champagne corks began to rain down from the Upper Compton, King Cricket remarked: “I don’t know about The Home of Cricket, this place is more like The Home of Corks.” This was far from the best joke King Cricket has ever made, but I laughed p...
Tags: England, Sex, Match Report, Sri Lanka, His Majesty, Upper Compton King Cricket


A match report from the 2017 Women’s World Cup Final

Lord’s media centre (CC licensed by hobbs_luton via Flickr) Gareth writes: The last time I’d been to Lord’s I’d found the place a bit stifling, and an incredibly drunken young man had capped Glamorgan getting spanked by Gloucestershire by “singing” on the bus the whole way back. That had not been a fun day. This time, I was off to watch a World Cup final. I won’t bore you with the details. It’s not allowed, is it? Plus, you probably all know what happened, what with you being cricket fans and a...
Tags: England, London, Cc, Sex, West Ham, Match Report, Victoria, Sri Lanka, Steve, Glamorgan, Gloucestershire, Megabus, Kumar Sangakkara, Compton, McCoy, Philistine


A report from a 2016 Lord’s match between Middlesex and Lancashire

Ged writes: I was joined for the afternoon by Escamillo Escapillo. Actually, the fact that we were together watching Middlesex v Lancashire was a noteworthy matter in itself, as our previous attempts to do so had been thwarted: In 2009 by circumstances beyond our control – i.e. the perennially lousy London weather – see King Cricket match report here In 2014 as a result of our collective incompetence – see King Cricket match report for that debacle here Inevitably, the conversation soon turn...
Tags: London, Sex, Old Trafford, Yorkshire, Match Report, Lancashire, Middlesex, Mick Hunt, Escamillo, Escamillo Escapillo


Chelsea 0-3 Bournemouth: We've had our night out let's go home.

Well as the crowd poured out, I laughed my head off the last twenty minutes of that game. To celebrate the biggest pile of crap I've seen from a Chelsea side since the Emirates in September 2016, I'm going to write our match up in the style of a first class, grade A nappy sh*tter -(This match report is written by Alex Churchill from her fantastic Chelsea Blog - A Girl Who Likes Balls .) Right. Here I go. I'm strapped into my Pampers and ready to go with my alter ego - Peaky the Nappy Sh*tter...
Tags: Sport, Barcelona, Soccer, Chelsea, Premier League, Everton, Sunderland, Bournemouth, Liam Neeson, Match Report, Leicester, Bolton, Michael Jackson, Watford, Madrid, Latest


Arsenal 2-1 Chelsea - At least it wasn't 0-0 - by A Girl who likes balls - The Chelsea Blog.

Us: Still no Cesc, and no Morata either. Big Willy would always have started I think tonight, and in front of him Conte had heeded Hazard's cry and gone all out. The Belgian started up front with Willian and Pesto (yawn, autospell), and behind them was much as we would have anticipated. Someone near us complained that Barkley didn't start. He's got no match fitness, bellend, and it's a cup semi final. This will become ironic as this article goes on, because this idiot said a lot more about R...
Tags: Europe, Sport, Soccer, Chelsea, Arsene Wenger, Ross Barkley, Wembley, League Cup, Match Report, Batman, Jack, Latest, Alex, Moses, Norwich, Ross