Posts filtered by tags: Mike Oppenheim[x]


 

Long Time No See - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"Hey, Doctor! It's been a while." I love it when parking valets recognize me. That was the good news. The 'it's been a while' was not so good.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Ever Hopeful - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Years ago, I shared a Four Seasons elevator with Robert Duvall. He was reading a script, and I pretended not to notice.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim, Robert Duvall He


Another Summer - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A wave of heat poured out of the guest's room as he opened the door.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Dog-Eat-Dog Business - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Waiting at the local carwash, my eye ran over a sheet of ads along one wall. Among notices for personal injury lawyers, pest control, acupuncturists, and pizzas was a photo of a smiling young man in a white coat carrying a doctor's bag. According to the text, a phone call would bring him to your door at a fee less than an emergency room's. All ads for housecalls deliver this cheerful boast, never mentioning that the average ER visit, as of 2017, cost $1400.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Critical Feature - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

The Airport Hilton has a long entrance drive that accommodates perhaps twenty parked cars without blocking traffic. Le Mondrian has a tiny drive that fits three or four.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim, Airport Hilton, Le Mondrian


Things Hotel Guests Ask That I Can’t - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

More than once I'm called when a guest suffers a tragic loss such as the death of a child or spouse. Distressed to witness the misery, family members want me to put her to sleep.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Another Stoic - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"She thinks her drink was spiked," explained the caller whose friend was bent over the toilet, vomiting. I explained that alcohol is a toxic drug and occasionally provokes this reaction. Common stomach viruses cause most vomiting. Did her friend want me to come?
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Special Service - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"Someone needs to check my nephew. He's shaking and really upset. How quick can you be here?" The child was in good health before a fire alarm roused everyone from bed at midnight. He seemed frightened, perhaps more than usual. I had no doubt that he would recover, but that was hard to communicate.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Cheap Motels are Easy - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Cheap motels have many advantages from a hotel doctor's point of view. Valets are absent, so I can park inside and safely ignore the threatening signs. Security is absent, so I don't have to explain myself to the front desk, and elevators respond when I push a button.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Lost in Translation Again - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"Speak Spanish?" Two of my least favorite words. Ninety percent of Latin American guests speak enough English to get along, and Hispanic hotel staff are usually available. Unfortunately, this visit occurred at a small Super 8, and the single employee on duty was American.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Almost Stiffed - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"The guest is a servant," reported the desk clerk as I passed to visit a luxury suite rented by guests from the Middle-East. "The hotel will not be able to cover the fee."
Tags: Travel, Middle East, Mike Oppenheim


More Worry - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A worried mother phoned, asking me to see her two-year-old with a fever.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Difficult Boy Friend - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A young man stood blocking the door. "I want to see your license," he said. I showed him. He examined it suspiciously and didn't move.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Insect Bites - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A caller had been suffering an itchy rash for a week. Three companions were also affected. That sounded good. When more than one person has a medical problem, it's the same problem and not serious.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Deception - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Over the phone, a tour leader explained that one of his group wanted a doctor to look at her hand. She had fallen.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Overdressed for Summer - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

In summer, wearing a suit and tie, I'm reminded of how much I resent hotels that refuse to let me park free. I only learned that the Casa Del Mar didn't when the clerk declined to validate, and I was stuck for $20. But the Casa Del Mar is on the beach where it's cool enough to walk a few blocks without suffering.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim, Casa Del Mar


Gushing Blood - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A man at a Beverly Hills hotel had struck his head on the edge of a table. Blood was gushing, and he wanted a doctor.
Tags: Travel, Beverly Hills, Mike Oppenheim


Still Another Free Service - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A national housecall service informed me that a caller in Huntington Beach was having a panic attack. He had had them before, and he needed a doctor to come and make sure he wasn't dying.
Tags: Travel, Huntington Beach, Mike Oppenheim


Taking No Chances - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A guest at the Westin wanted a doctor. I quoted the fee, always a tense moment. "Do you take insurance?" If the caller is American, the visit is doomed, but he wasn't. I asked the insurance carrier's name.
Tags: Travel, Westin, Mike Oppenheim


Who’s Taking Care of Avianca? - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Coris, a travel insurer, mostly for Latin Americans, sent me to the Crowne Plaza to care for a Spanish lady with stuffy ears. She turned out to be a flight attendant for Avianca airlines. Airline crew can't fly if they suffer a host of minor ailments, so they provide plenty of easy visits.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim, Coris


Bedbug Calls - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"All insect bites look the same," I explained. Bedbug calls are tricky. Patients blame the hotel, so they are reluctant to pay the doctor. Confronted by an angry guest, hotels ask my help and often offer to pay my fee.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Departing From Your Routine - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Twenty years ago I drove thirty-five miles to Pasadena to see a patient. When I opened the trunk to get my bag, it wasn't there. I had left it at home. I drove back to retrieve it.
Tags: Travel, Pasadena, Mike Oppenheim


Not the Right Way To Do It - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"My son has a boil on his leg. Our doctor says he might need an antibiotic. Could you come to the hotel?" A boil is collection dead tissue, full of pus and germs. It has no blood supply, so an antibiotic can’t reach it. Antibiotics don’t cure boils.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Do You Accept My Insurance? - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

More than "I'm having chest pain" or "my mother stopped breathing" the most stressful phrase a hotel doctor hears is "Do You Accept My Insurance?"
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Lost in Translation, Part 3 - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"I am constipated," said a guest with a thick French accent. "Constipation' means different things to different people," I said. "What exactly bothers you?" Silence…. When a caller doesn't answer, it usually means he doesn't understand.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


When General Managers Consult the Lawyer - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A lady reported that her eleven year-old son was seriously ill but refused to take him to a clinic or emergency room. She had been pestering the hotel staff all day.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


I Just Need a Shot - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A woman under treatment for infertility needed a progesterone shot every month. She had the vial. Could I send a nurse?
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


I Encounter a Rare Disease - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A man suffered a headache on his flight. After arriving at the hotel, he felt severe pain in his left ear. When he opened the door, I noticed that the left side of his face drooped.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Crushing My Hopes - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

I didn't recognize the number on caller ID, and when I heard "This is Adele from L'Hermitage" I nearly dropped the phone.
Tags: Travel, Adele, Mike Oppenheim


A Dangerous Occupation - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

As I entered the room, half a dozen family members stood and bowed. When Japanese bow, it means no one speaks English, so I phoned the Japanese travel insurance agency.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim