Posts filtered by tags: Mike Oppenheim[x]


 

Human Nature - The Life Of A Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

An elderly Mexican psychoanalyst was attending a psychoanalytic convention, but a cold was making her so miserable that she wanted to return home early.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


You’d Better Ask How Much! - The Life Of A Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Before hanging up the phone, I tell guests my fee, but this is not universal among hotel doctors. Guests may learn when the doctor hands over the invoice at the end of the visit.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Perfect Start To The Day - The Life Of A Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A businessman at the Anaheim Hilton was vomiting. Vomiters hate waiting, but the call arrived at seven a.m. on a Friday, and Anaheim is forty miles away. I hate creeping in rush hour traffic, so I try to delay those visits for a few hours.
Tags: Travel, Anaheim, Mike Oppenheim, Anaheim Hilton


The Superiority Of Alternative Medicine: The Life Of A Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

At the Ramada, I cared for a lady whose eyes were red and itchy. She had no allergies, and I saw no evidence of an infection. I suspected something was irritating them, and she had been using several over-the-counter eye-drops. Drops themselves can irritate eyes, especially with persistent use, so I told her to stop.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Doing My Duty : The Life Of A Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"I can't handle that in a hotel room," I explained. "She probably needs an ultrasound."
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Stressful Visit - The Life Of A Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A dispatcher from the agency that handles airline flight crew had mentioned a sore throat, but the guest admitted an "unprotected sexual contact" two nights earlier. The sore throat appeared soon after, and he was worried.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Does Everyone Live Like This? - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

The Beverly Garland is a sixteen mile freeway drive. The guest had phoned at 8 a.m. on Wednesday. I avoid distant housecalls during the rush hour; guests rarely object to waiting.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim, Beverly Garland


It’s Not an Ear Infection - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

When I peered into the guest's ear, the drum looked normal, so there was no middle-ear infection. When I pulled his earlobe, it hurt but not a great deal. In an external infection (swimmer's ear), pulling is very painful.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Running Out of Medication - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A guest at the Doubletree had run out of insulin. I could have made a housecall, written a prescription, but instead I explained that insulin doesn't require a prescription. She should go to the pharmacy and ask for it. The same is true for the morning-after pill, another request that arrives now and then.
Tags: Travel, DoubleTree, Mike Oppenheim


Hotel Visits I don’t Make | By Mike Oppenheim

I try not to make housecalls for shortness of breath, chest pain, loss of consciousness, and severe abdominal pain.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Listomania - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

I once made sixty to eighty visits per year to the Crowne Plaza at the airport. Then they dropped to about five.
Tags: Travel, Crowne Plaza, Mike Oppenheim


Good News, Usually - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A flight attendant with diarrhea is usually good news. Airline crew are young, so they suffer uncomplicated medical problems, and diarrhea qualifies. Her hotel in Costa Mesa was 46 miles away, but it was Saturday morning, so traffic would be light, and I'm paid extra for the distance.
Tags: Travel, Costa Mesa, Mike Oppenheim


Another Glamorous Film Shoot - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"We're at 501 West Olympic," explained my caller. "Come up to the seventeenth floor."
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Bilingual Doctor at Midnight - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A guest wanted a doctor who spoke French. "I don't speak French, and it's midnight," I pointed out. "You won't find a bilingual doctor to make a housecall at this hour."
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


I Save Another Life - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

The phone rang at 5 a.m. but I am an early riser. April Travel Insurance told me of a lady with a cough at the Residence Inn in Manhattan Beach. Vacationers hate to get sick, so even a bad cold produces wee-hour calls.
Tags: Travel, Manhattan, Residence Inn, Mike Oppenheim


The No-Housecall Mode - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Several times per year, a hotel guest suffers a bloody nose. I don't make housecalls for nosebleeds because there's nothing I can do. Treatment is to pinch the nose, releasing pressure every five minutes to check if bleeding has stopped. I tell guests to repeat until they get bored. If bleeding persists, the next step is cautery or nasal packing, both of which require expertise.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Don’t Get on the Plane! - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"My flight leaves tonight" is a phrase I like to hear because it means the guest will return to the care of the family doctor. Until then he or she is my responsibility. Now and then, I don't like to hear it.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Money is Not Always the Priority - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

The phone rang at 3:30 a.m. An airline pilot at the Costa Mesa Hilton needed a doctor, explained the caller. Could I go?
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim, Costa Mesa Hilton


“I Can’t Afford That!” - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

I hear this now and then when a guest learns my fee, more often in the form of a hint ("I'll talk to my husband and call you back…").
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


How to Find a Good Doctor - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

This column gives the impression that I'm a skilled, caring physician.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Should I Make a Housecall? - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Only half my callers require one. I'm happy to phone a pharmacy when guests forget legitimate medication: blood pressure pills, heart pills, contraceptives, etc. I don't do this for guests who tell me "I had the same thing last year, and my doctor prescribed……".
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim, Housecall


I Don’t Do Adderall - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

"A guest at the Century Plaza wants his Adderall refilled. Can you go?" asked someone from the office of a local concierge doctor.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Dog-Eat-Dog Business, Part 6 - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

People often ask what sort of contract I had with hotels. The answer is none. Staff called because I was easy to reach and quick to respond. Once they called a few times, they were not inclined to change.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


A Big Tipper - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Le Meredien on La Cienega has a firm policy against recommending a doctor. This does not mean it never calls, only that a call from Le Meredien means a guest making trouble, and the harassed employee has chosen Doctor Oppenheim as the lesser of two evils, the greater being burdening his boss with the problem.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim, Oppenheim, Le Meredien on La Cienega, Le Meredien


How Much Does An Emergency Room Cost? - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

A lady had been vomiting for three days. She had felt better that morning but then relapsed. She sounded weary.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim


Losing the Chateau Marmont - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

The Chateau Marmont is a funky art-deco apartment converted to a hotel in the 1930s with nine nearby cottages acquired during the 1940s. John Belushi died in a cottage in 1982, but that was a few years before I became its doctor.
Tags: Travel, John Belushi, Mike Oppenheim


Cheating Medicare - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Hearing my fee, the guest announced that he was on Medicare. I explained that I am not a Medicare doctor, so he would have to pay me up front. Unlike most elderly callers, he preferred another source of care, so I gave directions to a local clinic.
Tags: Travel, Medicare, Mike Oppenheim


A Dog-Eat-Dog Business, Part 4 - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

Danielle, chief concierge of the Ritz-Carlton, called me when her allergies were acting up, but this wasn't the reason. It was an awkward situation, she explained, but she hoped I'd understand. A guest has complained, I thought. I racked my brain to think who it might be.
Tags: Travel, Ritz Carlton, Danielle, Mike Oppenheim


Something Better Than the Best - The Life of a Hotel Doctor | By Mike Oppenheim

She had a fourteen hour flight to Australia, explained a woman with a French accent. Unfortunately, she had thrown her back out again. Would I come and give something to relax her muscles for that long journey? Her doctor always prescribed something that did the trick.
Tags: Travel, Australia, Mike Oppenheim


An Unwelcome Visitor From the Past | By Mike Oppenheim

A young man's cough, present for two weeks, had grown worse. He had a fever, and my stethoscope revealed lung noises typical of pneumonia.
Tags: Travel, Mike Oppenheim